My Personal Sun
by FreaKiki
Summary: What if Alice never saw Bella jump in New Moon and never come to see her? What if Bella decided to try to move on with Jacob and he imprints on her? What happens if she does fall in love with Jacob? What about Edward? Better description inside...M 4 Lemon
1. Maybe More Than Just a Safe Harbor

**What if Alice never saw Bella jump in New Moon and never come to see her? What if Bella decided to tell Jacob the truth about everything and tries to move on with him? Will he finally imprint on her or can he? What happens if she does fall in love with Jacob and Edward finally returns? What will she do? Or more importantly, who will she choose? This is kind of AU and OOC but I'm going to try really hard to keep it in character as much as possible.**

**I do not own Twilight or anything of the characters in Twilight because it all belongs to the wonderfully amazing SM, but trust me if I did I'd never let anyone play with them…**

**A/N: This chapter starts in New Moon after Jacob drives Bella home after she almost drowns while they are still in Bella's truck in her driveway. Alice never saw her jump so she doesn't come and Edward doesn't know a thing. This story is for Team Jacob!**

**Oh before I begin I wanna give props to my best friend and amazing grammar/syntax nazi!betta, Simply Kelp. You rock girl! **

**Without further a due I present to you **MY PERSONAL SUN.

**Chapter one: Maybe more than just a Safe Harbor…**

Excerpt from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

_If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder... I knew without any doubt what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight._

_But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life? Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought of turning my head._

_And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear._

_"Be happy," he told me._

_I froze._

_Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door._

As I saw his hand on the handle about to open it I felt this pang in my stomach that told me I couldn't let him leave.

"Jake…" I whispered softly. I heard the slight tremble in my voice from the tears I felt welling up in my eyes but I hoped he didn't.

He turned back around and I could see the concern for me in his deep eyes. I couldn't hold the tears back anymore; I felt them spill over and slide down my cheeks.

"Aw. Bella, honey I'm sorry. It's ok, shhh…" he cooed. He was trying to calm me, but it just made me feel worse. _He _felt sorry because _he _thought he hurt _me_!

"No, Jake! It's not ok! I've been a terrible person and an even worse friend! I've hurt you and led you on so badly! I'm so sorry, so very sorry! I was being so selfish but I just can't seem to let him go and this seemed like the only way to keep him and-"

He cut me off before I could finish. "Wait, what?! What are you talking about? Are you trying to tell me that you were trying to kill yourself over… over _HIM_!?" As he started to speak a tremor slid down his spine and over his entire body.

"What?" I asked. The tears seemed to stop to allow me to see him better. I stared at him for a second in utter confusion and panic. "No. No, Jake! I told you before that I wasn't trying to kill myself and I meant it."

He closed his eyes after seeing the panic in mine. He took a deep breath that seemed to calm himself down and stopped the tremors. "Then what _are_ you talking about? And what does _he_ have to do with you jumping off the cliff, other than you trying to kill yourself which you say you weren't?"

"I… ummm…. Jake…I-I don't know how to explain." I started to stutter. I debated whether or not to lie but then I remembered that if I wanted him to stay and wanted to be with him I'd have to tell him the truth. So I turned and looked out the windshield. The tears welled up and spilled over again as I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. As soon as I did everything just came pouring out in a rush and I didn't even have time to censor what I was saying.

"Aw, Jake! It was all about him, it always was. The night in Port Angeles, the motorcycles, the cliff diving, and even the hiking trips in search of the meadow. It was the only way to keep him. Before he left he made me promise not to do anything stupid or reckless but I found when I did do things that were stupid and reckless I could hear him like he was standing right behind me with perfect clarity and I wouldn't hurt. And… and…" I started sobbing, "I'm… so… sorry," I said between sniffles.

It took me a few minutes to calm my sobs to just sniffles. That's when I realized he hadn't said a word or moved since I had started talking. I looked over at him and immediately wished I hadn't. His face was blank; no mask, no emotions at all but his eyes said it all: hurt, betrayal, anger, jealousy, rage. But mostly pain. I looked away quickly; I pulled my legs against my chest, wrapped my arms around them and buried my face into them to stifle my escalating sobs.

We didn't speak for several moments as we processed everything. The only sounds came from my sobbing. When Jacob finally spoke I was shocked. His voice was not mad or angry like I had expected it to be; it was low and ruff but I still heard the deep sadness and hurt that he tried to cover up. "So… all of it, all of our time together, everything we did, every moment was… for him."

I finally looked up at him after he had finished; what I saw scared me more than Victoria finding me; his face was riddled with pain and anguish. When he saw my eyes, he turned and opened the door. Before he could get out I threw myself at him and locked my hands around his wrist.

"No! Please Jacob! Please I need you." When he heard my reminder of his promise he turned back to face me with the door still open. The pain was still on his face as he looked at mine and into my eyes. I knew my emotions were written all over my face: pain, shock, horror, but mostly fear. And I was afraid. I was afraid that he would leave me; just like Edward. He searched my eyes for a moment and then shut the door, his eyes never leaving mine.

I knew I had to say something; I knew I owed him the truth. "No Jacob, it wasn't all about him," I whispered. His eyes told me to keep going, "At first, with the motorcycles it was about him and getting to hear him again, but I stayed because of you. I found that, even after the first day, I couldn't leave you; like you had some pull on me. I found myself feeling better and after spending the day with you, I could actually sleep at night." I paused for a few minutes and he waited patiently. _Honesty _I thought. _You owe him the whole truth. You need to tell explain everything to him and then let him decide. _

"Jacob, I love him and I don't know if I'll ever get over him… Jake, you know I'm broken and in pieces with some missing, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be fixable but… but if you still want me, I'm yours. You can have all of me that's left, every last piece… But if you don't, I'll understand. You are so amazing Jacob and you deserve so much more, so much better. You deserve someone whose whole and can give them self to you wholly, and I can't but I'm willing to give you everything I have left. Jake, I love him and I'm not sure if I'll ever stop. But I want to try, if you'll help me."

With that, I reached up and pressed my lips to his with as much passion as I could. He kissed me back for a second before stopping. He pulled away from me. His eyes were still closed when he spoke. "Bella, I love you but I don't think you're ready for-" He suddenly stopped speaking when he opened his eyes and looked at me. His face was suddenly devoid of all emotions except for shock and awe. His mouth fell open a little and his eyes widened. There was a look in them that I couldn't understand.

"Jake? Jacob? Are you ok? I'm sorry I-" This time it was my turn to suddenly stop speaking as I realized what the look in his eyes was. He was looking at me like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the first time…

**A/N: ok, yes I know she doesn't know what imprinting is yet and he hasn't used that oh so clever analogy yet but as I was writing this I just could resist. I was gonna have him imprint on her anyways. And I couldn't resist using it; it was too perfect. So for the purposes of this story she does already know and he has used it. Sorry if you don't like it. **

**Please, please, please review! This is my first FanFic and I wanna know how I did. Tell me the truth, even if you hate it! The next chapter is gonna be set in the future, but not too far ahead. I promise to get it out ASAP, but I'm a college student about to enter dead week and then finals, then I have to move, but it will be ASAP I swear!**


	2. Morning Surprises

**A/N. I fixed the glich from yesterday's post. some how when it got uploaded it got all messed up. now the notes are in the right spots. SORRY!**

**Ok so I know I said I was going to keep it in character as much as possible but I have to change a few things so that they fit with my story, but not so much with SM's amazing story. Sorry! **

**First thing is that Jacob is two years older than Bella, not just physically but in actual years. I know this messes with the story a little but I've already change the story anyways I might as well make mine good. **

**Second is that the pack does age but only if they've imprinted on someone. They stay looking around 25 years old until their imprintee catches up in age and then they age together. For example Quil will stay the same age until Clair is his age and then they will age together. But they don't get sore or anything like old men do when they shift into werewolves. It's just as swift and painless as it was when they were younger. **

**Oh, and another one, Emily doesn't have the scars because that's not how I see her and frankly I don't like them. Please don't kill me because I changed things! **

**Ok, so this is set almost a year in the future. To be more precise its 2 years to the day of the first time Bella met Jacob at First Beach.**

**Chapter Two: Morning Surprises...**

As I lay in bed not wanting to wake up, I let my mind wander. Wow, who knew two years could go by so fast? It seemed like just yesterday that we had met at First beach. And a minute ago that Jacob and I sat in my truck and he imprinted on me, not a whole year. I've wondered many times about why that happened then and not before and we can't really explain. The werewolf's are supposed to imprint the first time they see their mate, but Jacob had seen me hundreds of times since he'd changed. He figures that the reason it took so long is because my heart wasn't open to anyone but Edward; when I finally decided to try to let go of Edward and opened myself up to him he was finally able to imprint on me. I think it was because I was finally 100% honest with him for the first time, and I finally let him into my heart.

It took a long time, and Jacob was very patient with me, but I was finally able to let go of Edward. I think I'll always love him in a way; because he was my first love and the first one to break --and that's putting it lightly-- my heart. Jacob swears Edward will be the last one to ever break my heart. I believe him. There is no way to doubt the pure and complete love Jacob has for me. I can see it every time he looks at me. And I love him so very much. He truly is the love of my life. It took us a long time to get to where we are now, but we are finally truly happy.

Shortly after he imprinted on me he bought a house right by Sam and Emily's and opened his own garage. He's been very successful, especially being in such a small town. His garage is just off the highway in Forks so he gets a lot of out of town travelers. Jacob's house was small but quaint and perfect for us. It's a blue two-story house with three bedrooms and two and a half baths. When I asked Jacob why he bought a house with three bedrooms he said it was so we would still be close to Emily and Sam when our kids were born.

The kitchen, dining room and, living room were all one big room. The kitchen was shaped in a squared U-shape with the wall that overlooked the living room knocked out and only being a counter. The dining room was right across from the kitchen with a big table so all of the guys could eat at it. The downstairs had the half bath. The upstairs was where the bedrooms were. Two of the bedrooms were right at the top of the stairs with one of the bathrooms in between. Jacob had turned the room on the right into a study for me, while the room on the left was a guest bedroom. At the end of the hall was the master bedroom where Jacob and I slept and it had the other bathroom. Our bedroom was simple. It had a large wooden bed with a Tiffany blue and café brown comforter and matching sheets. There was a dresser that matched the bed frame and two matching nightstands on either side of the bed. The walls were painted a light blue. Jacob lived there by himself for a while.

I moved in right after my dad and Sue got married about two months ago and I'm really happy for Charlie. Sam and Emily got married a few months after Jacob imprinted on me in July and Emily found out not too much later that she was pregnant. She had Levi two days ago and we were all going over to throw them a welcome home party/ baby shower since we didn't have one before he was born. The whole pack was going to be there along with their significant others. Leah, Kim, and I were throwing the part for them. Leah had become a much more pleasant person after she imprinted on Deryk --Sam's cousin-- at the Sam and Emily's wedding. One minute she was sulking, and the next minute she was smiling and speechless. She was finally happy and that of course made everyone happy. She and I have actually somewhat become friends, and recently step-sisters.

Thinking about the party is what brought me back to the present. Our room was so comfortable that I always had a hard time leaving. There was something about it that was just so comforting and warm. Warm… that's odd. I'm usually so warm by the morning that I've pushed all of the blankets off, but right now I was actually somewhat cold. I rolled over so I could be closer to Jacob, but he wasn't there. "Jacob?" I said and when he didn't answer I finally opened my eyes. But he wasn't there. That's when I noticed a note folded in half on his pillow. I reached across and opened it.

* * *

**_Good morning Beautiful, _**

_**Happy 2****ND**** anniversary of the day we met. I have a surprise that I hope you're going to like, but you're going to have to find it first. I've set up a sort of scavenger hunt for you and I'll be waiting at the end. Don't worry, Leah already knows and she said she'd see you at the party, so you don't have to worry about helping set up.**_

**_Here's the first set of directions: in the closet I've picked out an outfit that I'd like for you to wear. There you'll find directions as to where for where to go next._**

**_I love you and I can't wait to see you, _**

**_XOXO_**

**_JACOB_ **

* * *

I stared at the note puzzled for a few minutes while I woke up fully. I debated whether or not to go along with Jacob's silly game then decided that he had obviously put some thought into this. Also if I played along it would make him happy.

So I got up and went to the closet. I was a little afraid of what I would find behind the doors, but I knew and trusted Jacob knew me well enough not to put me in something I would feel really uncomfortable in. I took a deep breath and opened the doors. There was a new pair of crisp dark blue denim jeans, a red silk button down blouse with long sleeves, a black pea coat that was tight on the arms until about the elbow where it flared out and looked kind of like a bell, and black ballet flats. He knew me so well and he listened even more.

I remember setting on the couch a few weeks ago flipping through a magazine while he watched TV. I remember him asking what I like and showing him some of the things that looked exactly like what I now had in my closet. _Yes_, I thought, _he definitely put a lot of thought into this. _Then I noticed that sticking out of a pocket of the jeans was another folded note. I pulled it out and with out reading it placed it on the dresser next to the closet.

I went to the bathroom and took a shower then brushed my teeth and hair. I decided that if he was going to put so much work into this I could at least do my hair. So I brushed it, straitened it, and then pulled some of it back with a dark metal clip with red jewels in it that Jacob had given me to wear with my dress at Charlie's wedding. I didn't dare put on make-up because I knew that Jacob hated it. He said I was perfect just the way I was and that the make-up only hid my natural beauty. I went back into the bedroom and got dressed. After I was done I looked in the mirror to check everything before I left. Jacob did a good job picking out my clothes; I actually looked pretty good.

Then I grabbed the second note off of the top of the dresser and sat down on the bed to read it:

* * *

**_Bella honey,_**

**_I'm sure you look absolutely stunning and I can't wait to see you, but there are a few more places you have to go first._**

**_Second set of directions: go over to Charlie's and have breakfast with your father. Sue's with Leah helping set up so it will be just you and Charlie. I know you haven't spent much time with him since he and Sue got married so I thought this would be a good chance to catch up._**

**_Missing you more every second,_**

**_XOXO_**

**_JACOB_ **

**

* * *

**

**A/N. Thank you guys for reading. I am really enjoying getting to write this and I really love all of your reviews! I'm so excited that so many people are interested. I'm sorry if you don't like the changes I made, but they're kinda minor so I hope you don't mind too much.**

**I'd really like to give a big thanks to my amazing beta Simply Kelp! Your amazing and thank you so much! **

**Please, please, please review. Even if you tell me you hate it. Thank you again to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. Oh feel free to tell me what you would like to see and I'll try to put it in.**


	3. Breakfast at Charlie's

**Chapter 3: Breakfast at Charlie's**

After I read the second note I realized just how very much Jacob paid attention to not only what I said, but also what I didn't say. I had tried to hide it but I really missed Charlie. I was glad that he was happy with Sue and I was trying to give them their space. I was really glad, as I usually am that Jacob knew me so well.

I walked down stairs, grabbed my purse and went straight to my truck. I was in such a hurry to see Charlie that I almost jumped into the truck without looking. There, laid across my seat, were a dozen long stemmed American Beauty red roses. Once again Jacob knew me too well. American Beauties were my favorite roses; they were the queen of all flowers. They were such a rich red color and they smelled so wonderful. I smelled them and held them close. To most women getting flowers isn't really a big deal. Having Jacob not just get me roses, but my favorite roses just showed how much he cared. It was huge to me. I carefully walked back into the house, went to the kitchen, and pulled out a vase. I filled the vase with water, organized the roses in it, and stepped back to admire them. I stood there for a minute gazing at them and thinking of Jacob. How did I ever get so lucky as to be loved by this amazing man? I sighed and walked back out to my truck.

On my way into Forks I called Charlie to make to let him know I was on my way. The rest of my ride I spent thinking about Jacob and what his surprise for me was. _Maybe he got me a new car, _I thought. _Uhhh I hope not. Maybe he wants to go away on a vacation… no I doubt it. Maybe… nope, I got nothing._ I just couldn't think of anything he could want or want to do, well besides the obvious and I don't think that's where this is going. Even though Jacob and I had been together for over a year, we still hadn't had sex. But I was pretty sure that he was just waiting for me to decide. He'd never push me into doing something I wasn't ready for, especially not something like sex. No, that couldn't be it. I just couldn't think of anything. Our life was pretty much perfect together.

I continued pondering the rest of the drive until I pulled up to Charlie's. I got out of the truck but didn't even make it halfway to the door before he had it open for me.

"Hi Bella." Charlie said with his eye crinkling smile.

"Hi dad." I said with an equally large smile as I walked up the porch steps. When I reached the top he pulled me into a big hug.

"I missed you, Bella."

"I missed you too, Dad."

He hugged me a few seconds longer then let go and held out the door for me. We went inside to the kitchen. We went strait to the fridge then stopped and looked at each other.

"Hey, why don't you let me make breakfast today dad?" I said then quickly added, "For old times sake." when he gave me a critical look. He looked at me for a few seconds then just nodded and went to sit down at the table. It wasn't until after I had the frying pan on the stove that Charlie finally spoke again.

"So, how's Jake?" normally this wouldn't have bothered me except for the fact that there was a slight teasing tone in his voice.

"Jake's fine. Business has been good so he's been working a lot. Why?"

"Oh, just wondering." and again with the teasing tone.

"Dad," I said turning around to face him. "You know something that your not telling me. Is it what Jake has planned for today?"

I stared him down for a few second and only turned around when I knew he wasn't gonna say anything. I went back to cooking and started greasing the pan.

"Umm, Bells… I… well I'm your father and I feel like it's my job to say something and I know I should have said done this before but I was so preoccupied with the wedding that it just kinda slipped my mind, not that that's a good enough excuse but-" I put up my hand to stop his rambling.

"Dad, you're rambling. Just say what ever it is that you have to say and get it over with already." I said as I walked over to the fridge and grabbed the carton of eggs. I sat the carton on the counter just as he spoke.

"Well Bella… please just tell me you and Jake are being safe."

"What?" I asked. I didn't completely understanding what he meant. I picked up an egg just as he said the last thing I would ever expect to come out of his mouth.

"I mean… you two are using protection, right?"

I spun around and was so shocked that I dropped the egg I was holding. It splattered when it hit the ground at my feet.

"DAD! I can't _believe_ you just asked me that. I… uhhh." I was so shocked and embarrassed and revolted at the same time. I knew my face was already turning red. How could Charlie ask me something like that… unless maybe Jake talked to him about it? Maybe that _was_ what he was planning for today.

"Well Bella, I am your father and it's my job to make sure your being careful. And don't get me wrong I like Jake, but if he got you pregnant I would have to kill him. Besides I am way too young to be a grandpa."

"Dad. I… what… him... No, I mean yes, I mean… uhhh! WE'RE NOT HAVING SEX, OK!" I knew my face must be scarlet red so I turned around, grabbed a few paper towels and started to clean up the egg I had dropped.

"Oh, ok… well keep it that way." he said while he grabbed the paper and opened it to hide his face from me. The rest of the time was spent in silence until I finished breakfast and put it down on the table. The rest of the morning was pent eating and chatting a little bit. We were both so embarrassed with the sex conversation earlier that we both just pretended like it didn't happen. I talked about fixing up mine and Jake's house and Charlie talked about his and Sue's Honeymoon to Seaside Oregon (thankfully leaving out certain details that I just didn't need to know or think about… ever!). We just chatted about little things until Charlie notice the time and said.

"Oh, hey you'd better get going if you gonna meet up with Jake before the party." and with that he turned around and grabbed a note sitting next to the phone that I hadn't noticed and handed it to me. I opened it and read:

* * *

_**To the most beautiful woman in the wor**__**ld,**_

_**I hope you enjoyed your time with Charlie and I'm sorry it has to end. The good news is that there is only one more place you have to go.**_

_**The third set of directions: go to the boutique in town, Le Boutique Rouge. Please feel free to shop around, but when your done go to the counter and the saleswoman will give you the next set of directions.**_

_**Loving you more with every breath, **_

_**XOXO**_

_**JACOB**_

* * *

_Le Boutique Rouge? _I though. _Strange. Oh well, I'm sure Jacob has a perfectly good reason for sending me to that particular store, other than the obvious._ Even though I'd never actually been inside the store, I've seen it from the window displays. It seemed to resemble those you see at a Victoria's secret. Lingerie and other scantily clad outfits. I thanked Charlie for breakfast and left to go to the boutique. On my way there I couldn't help but think about my "surprise", the conversation I just had with Charlie about my sex life with Jacob and now the sex boutique Jacob was sending me to. The more I thought about it the angrier I got. "What the _hell_ is he _thinking?_ And how _dare_ he presume that I would just _have sex with him_ just because he bought me a new outfit, and set up a breakfast with my dad!" I shouted hitting the steering wheel with my hand as I pulled up to the store and saw the scraps of fabric parading as lingerie in the window. I was so temped to turn around, go home and yell at Jacob but then I remembered that I had no idea where he was. To my great discomfort I realized that the only way to find out where he was was to go into the boutique and retrieve the last note. _Ok, _I thought to my self. _I'll go in and get the note then come right back out. Then I'm gonna hunt him down and he's gonna get it!_ So I took a deep breath, got out of the truck and went into the boutique.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was expecting a Victoria's Secret mix with a naughty lingerie shop. This boutique however was not that. Yes, they did have lingerie but they also had pajamas, sensual products such as lotions candles oils and body sprays, books mainly about sex but also all about women, and even dresses very sexy looking dress at least. This was kind of a sex shop for women but a very tasteful and discrete one. After seeing the inside I wasn't as mad at Jacob as before but I was still plenty mad. He was, after all, still planning on trying to have sex with me. So I walked up the counter and there was a very good looking blonde women stranding behind it.

"Welcome to Le Boutique Rouge. My name is Veronica. Is there something I can help you find?"

"ummm, well my boyfriend Jacob sent me here and-"

"Oh! You must be Bella!" she said stopping me with a gigantic smile on her face. She seemed honestly excited to see me. "He said you very beautiful and he sure wasn't lying."

"umm, thank you." I said blushing while she turned around and grabbed a rectangular white box with red satin ribbon on it.

"This, is for you." she said and my eyes grew wide. I was expecting a note, not a box! _He wouldn't have actually bought me lingerie, would he have? _She must have seen the shock on my face because she added, "Don't worry, it's not what you think it is. Just open it, you'll see. Oh, and your last note is in the bottom. Your so lucky, he's so romantic."

I knew I didn't have any other option so I pulled one end of the ribbon and untied it. It came undone easily end fell to the top of the counter when I let go. I took a deep breath and opened the box. I pushed back the tissue paper and gasped. It wasn't lingerie at all, but two sets of pajamas. One was a cotton dark red tank top and cotton bottoms that were light pink with little matching red hearts and I LOVE YOU's in dark pink all over them. The other was a silky black spaghetti top with lace on the top and bottom with black silky shorts. I immediately felt bad for thinking Jacob would buy me lingerie. I should have known he would never do that, well at least not until after we had been having sex. I must not have been paying attention because I was surprised when Veronica spoke.

"Do you not like them?"

I looked up to see her face was covered in concern. So I quickly told her that did like them and that I wanted to look around a little if that was alright. She said that was fine and she would keep my gifts for me. As I looked around the store I thought more about Jacob. I realized I wasn't mad that he wanted use to take that next step, because I had been thinking about it too lately, I was mad because I thought he just assumed that I was ready and wanted to too. And the more I thought about that I realized that I _was _ready and I _did_ want to take that next step with him. I love him so much and I couldn't imagine my first time to be with anyone else. After all, he had imprinted on me so not only did I know that we were going to be together but I also knew that he truly and whole heartedly loved me.

I found myself wondering over to the lingerie section and found that not all of it was scary. After finding a few more classy and tasteful numbers I tried them on and decided on one that I really liked. It was a dark red (which was Jacob's favorite color on me) teddy with black lace trimming on the top and bottom and it had matching red ruffley booty short underwear. It was cute an classy get sexy at the same time. I brought them up to the counter and Veronica rang them up but when I pulled my credit card out to pay for it she said that Jacob had already taken care of it. Apparently he told her that if I found anything I liked to put it on his credit card. I felt spoiled but in a way it was for him so I didn't feel too bad. She but the boxes in separate bag and I left.

I went back to the truck and put the presents Jacob bought me on the passenger seat and my gift for him under the seat. I didn't want him seeing just yet. I still had no idea what my surprise was and then I remembered his last note. I pulled the box out of the bag, then pulled the last note out from under the cloths, and put the box back in the bag on the seat.

* * *

_**Love of my life,**_

_**I hope you enjoyed shopping and like what I picked out for you. As promised this is your last note. I can't wait to see you.**_

_**Here is your last set of directions: Meet me at First Beach. I'll be waiting at the bottom of the stairs for you.**_

_**With all of my love,**_

_**XOXO**_

_**JACOB**_

* * *

**A/N: I hope you like it and I really hope you have no idea what's coming next. Sorry this took so long to get done but I'm almost done with the trimester. **

**Oh, and my poor Beta, Simply Kelp, is so sickened by all of the lovey dovey het that she has to take a two week vacation to relax. That means I'm in need of a temporary Beta. Any takers?**

**Please Review. The more you review the more inspired I am to write so the faster I'll get the next chapter done.**


	4. The Beach

**A/N: Sorry this took my so long. I finally finished the semester and got moved out of my dorm. I'm sorry this is short but I have a feeling your gonna like the end of the chapter… either that or you're gonna wanna kill me… either way, here it is.**

**Chapter 4: The Beach**

* * *

After I finished reading the last note I thought to my self, _I should have known. We met on that beach two years ago today; it's only fitting that that's where we end this little game. He really put a lot of thought and energy into this. _Then added _I'll have to give him a proper thank you later, _while throwing a glance at the passenger seat that had Jacob's new present under it.

I was so excited that I drove as fast as my truck could to the beach. I parked and practically ran to the steps and almost tripped down them but caught myself on the railing. I looked up to see Jacob looking at me with a big smile trying not to laugh. He was wearing a red button down that looked to be the same color as my shirt, with black dress slacks and no shoes. He looked so handsome and unbelievable sexy all cleaned up like that. I smiled back, took off my shoes, ran down the steps and leapt into his arms. He caught me with ease and kissed me lightly. After kissing for a few seconds he pulled away, hugged me tighter and then set me down. He kept his hands locked around my waist and I left mine resting on his shoulders.

"Hello Beautiful." he said softly while staring lovingly into my eyes, "Did you enjoy your little hunt?"

"Yes, I did. Thank you, for everything. My new outfit is beautiful and the roses were a wonderfully sweet surprise. I loved getting to have breakfast with Charlie and finally getting to talk to him. That was the best gift you could have given me. Oh, and speaking of gifts. I was a little worried when you told me to go to _that _boutique but the pajamas are so cute. Thank you for always being so thoughtful."

"Bella, Honey. I would do anything for you. I love you more than anything in the world. I've been so blessed to have you in my life for the past two years. I can't imagine my life with out you Bells."

"I love you too."

"Here, come sit with me." he said. He reached a hand up and took mine from around his neck. We walked hand in hand down to our driftwood log in beautiful silence. Once we reached it he sat down and pulled me into his lap.

"So, I have one last big surprise for you. But first I want to know if you have any guesses as to what it is."

"I…" I began. I couldn't decide if I wanted to tell him that I knew that the end surprise was for us to ultimately make love for the first time. I didn't want to put it that way though and I knew that that wasn't the tangible surprise he was talking about. Maybe the surprise was going away somewhere for a short vacation and we would make love there. "Is it a trip somewhere?"

He laughed a bit and then added "kind of…"

"I have no idea, Jacob. I give up. What is the big surprise?"

"Before I tell I have a really important question for you."

"Ok, what is it?"

"Bella… oh hey, what's that?" he said looking over my shoulder and pointing to something in the sand. Before I could say anything he stood us up and started to walk towards it. He took a few steps and turned around towards me. "Aren't you coming Bells?"

I sighed, rolled my eyes and walked past him. I walked up to what he had notice and at first I just thought it was some marks in the sand and a black rock. Then I noticed that the marks were words written inside a heart shape with the rock in the middle. I didn't realize what the words said until I was standing right in front of them. It said in really beautiful writing **BELLA, WILL YOU MARRY ME? **I reread it three times and I was so shocked that I only came back to reality when I felt Jacob's hand wrap around my left hand. I turned to look at him and saw him on one knee reaching into the middle of the heart to grab the rock that I now realized wasn't a rock, but a small black jewelry box. He looked up into my eyes and finally spoke.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I love you so much. I would be the luckiest man in the entire world if I got to spend the rest of my life loving and taking care of you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me Bells?"

I was speechless.

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**I hope you liked it and don't want to kill me (too badly). Thanks for reading and …**

**Please review! It's really encouraging!**


	5. Bella's Answer

**A/N Sorry this is taking me so long to write. I feel a little less inspired because my wonderful Beta is still out of town. That and now that I've moved I don't have my desk to sit down at and write. And I've had a lot of real life stuff to deal with. I know excuses, excuses. Sorry!**

**At the bottom there is a link to a picture of the ring Jacob got.**

**Chapter 5: Bella's Answer**

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"_Isabella Marie Swan. I love you so much. I would be the luckiest man in the entire world if I got to spend the rest of my life loving and taking care of you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me Bells?"_

_I was speechless._

I tried to open my mouth but couldn't. My right hand was still covering my mouth and I now noticed it was shaking because I was crying. I just stared down at Jacob. He was still down on one knee holding my left hand in his right one with the little black box in the other. His eyes were filled with absolute love for me.

I knew I couldn't answer out loud so I just nodded.

"Yes?" he asked with relief washing over his face.

"Yes! Yes, of course yes!" I replied through sobs of joy. Jacob smiled from ear to ear and I knew I was too.

"Oh, Bella…" he said as he grabbed me by the waist, crashed his lips to mine and stood up. At first his kiss was extremely intense then it melted into the most passionate kiss we had ever shared. He broke away laughing and swinging me around in circles still crushed to his chest.

When he finally put me down he looked into my eyes and said, "You really mean? You really want to marry me?"

"Of course I do. Jacob Black I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Oh Bella, I love you too honey." and he kissed me again but this kiss was shorter because he stopped and added, "oh I almost forgot." he bent down and grabbed the little black box he must have dropped when he picked me up. "If you don't like it I can get something else…" and he opened the box.

Inside was a white gold ring with a round cut garnet in the center. On either side was two small diamonds lined up vertically with a larger sized garnet on each end.

"Oh Jacob, it beautiful."

"I thought you would like it. It was my moms." he said while sliding the ring onto my finger.

"What? Oh Jacob…." and I started to cry again so he pulled me against his chest in a loving hug.

"You know she always liked you. When I went to my to ask him for help picking out a ring to ask you to marry me with he told me I already had. Then he went and got this."

"Your dad knows?"

"Well, yeah. So does Charlie."

"What?! You talked to Charlie?" I said as I pulled my head back to look at his face.

"Well I had to ask for his permission, didn't I? Not that it was his decision if you wanted to marry me but it was the proper thing to do. And besides we both know Billy couldn't have kept this from him with out exploding."

"Does anyone else know?" I asked timidly while resting my head back down on his chest.

"Well I had to call your mom and ask her too because I know that's what you would want."

"You asked Rene?! What did she say?!" again my head shot out to look at him.

"She gave us her blessing. Apparently she really likes me too because she said she couldn't imagine anyone better for you than me."

"Oh Jacob…wait, if Billy knows and Charlie knows and Rene knows, that means Sue knows… And if Sue knows then Leah and Seth… Oh My Gosh! Does the whole pack know?! Wait, what am I saying? Of course the whole pack knows. You couldn't keep a secret like that from them. Who else knows?" after I was done ranting I leaned back into Jacob and whined a little.

"I'm sorry honey, but everyone knows."

"Ahh, great." I said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry honey, but don't you want everyone to know?"

"Well yes, but _after_ we told them. Oh, well it's not your fault. You couldn't have kept it a secret if you wanted to."

"True… oh hey we had better get going or we're gonna be late."

"Late? Oh, the party. You mean we have to go face everyone with them knowing?"

"Yes, I'm afraid we do."

"Fine, we had better go. This is gonna be terrible, having to deal with all of their smugness about knowing before I did and all of the bets I know they placed…" I said as he unwrapped his arms from around my waist. He took my hand and we started to walk towards my truck. "Wait, what would you have done if I had said no? Or better yet, what would they have done?"

"I don't know… I guess I knew deep down that you would say yes, so I didn't think about your other possible answer. If we had shown up to that party after you said no, they certainly would not have been so smug… wait, I have an idea of how to tell them and still have them be surprised."

Just then we reached my truck. He helped me into the passenger's side and when he got into the drivers seat he told me about his plan on how to surprise everyone at the party…

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**A/N Sorry its short but the next chapter will be up soon I promise. I contemplated having Bella stay more true to saga character and say no but after reading all of your reviews I realized you would all kill me if I did that so I didn't. Anyway…**

**Here's the link for the ring: http:// img2. timeinc. net/ instyle /images /2007/ wedding/ fall05/ rings/ fall05_ rings3a .jpg (FYI there are spaces after every . or /) **

**Please Review!!!!!! **


	6. The Party

**I'm so sorry this took so long but I've been taking care of my two and a half year old nephew for the past week and a half. And on top of being exhausted from that I've had some major writer's block. It was terrible! Every time I tried to write all I came up with was crap! I hope you like this though…**

**Chapter 6: The Party**

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"So here is my plan," Jacob said as soon as he started my truck. "You know that everyone knows that you were gonna say yes when I asked you, but when you asked me what I would have done if you said no I got an idea… What if we told everyone that you _did _say no?"

"Sweetheart, they are never gonna believe that. They know how much I love you and want to be with you. Besides I can't act, remember?"

"Oh but that's why my plan is so brilliant: You won't have to! I'll come in alone with my head hung and acting all mopey and when I tell them you said no they'll all get shocked and awkward and try to comfort me and that when you'll sneak in through the back door, say something witty and cute and we'll get to not only surprise them with our good news but we'll get to laugh at them. It's a win-win in my book."

I thought about his plan for a minute and then felt a mischievous grin spread across my face. "I like it!"

He laughed at me then added "I thought you would."

We sat the rest of the time thinking about the plan and before I knew it we were there.

"Ok, I'll wait for you to go around and get in before I go in because I know your going to want to see this." he bent down and kissed me, then added "I love you."

I kissed him one last time, told him I loved him and then slipped out of the truck. I ran around back as fast as I could while trying my best not trip. I found the back door, opened it and slipped in. I was in the laundry room, which was thankfully the second door in the hallway but you could see the living room perfectly without being noticeable.

I opened the door just a crack a Jacob walked in with his head hung low looking so sad. Seeing him look like that I wanted to run over and comfort him but then I had to remember he was just acting. It took less than a minute for everyone to realize what had happened and quiet down…Well, almost everyone. Paul, who was as thick as the come, spoke up.

"Dude, Jacob. What's wrong? You look like crap man. What did the vampire girl say 'No' or something?" Sam reached over and smacked him in the back of the head like Gibbs does on NCIS only harder.

I really hated it when he called me vampire girl! I wanted to smack him myself but I knew that that that would accomplish is hurting myself and not him at all. I was over Edward and even though I would always love the Cullen's, that did not make me a vampire girl. I was with Jacob now; doesn't that at least take away that stupid title he had given me?!

"Yeah, she did." Jacob said in the saddest tone. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears and it killed me even though I know it was fake.

There was so much tension in the room it was almost palpable. It was quiet for a few seconds as everyone processed what he said then they all kinda took a few steps toward him. The girls all surrounded him and were telling him how sorry they were and the guys stood back looking awkwardly at each other and him and mumbled sorrys to him. It was kinda hard not to laugh. How could they really think I would say no? I mean seriously, Jacob is absolutely perfect.

I just couldn't take it anymore. When Leah wrapped her arms around him and tried to comfort him I about lost it and I knew that if I waited it any longer the plan would have been ruined because Jake would have fallen over laughing too. That's when I stepped out of the door way and took the few steps to the hall entrance. I leaned against the corner and folded my arms across my chest. "Seriously guys? Like I could ever say no." Then as quick as I could I added as everyone whipped their heads around "Jacob and I are engaged! We're getting married! Ha! There, I got to tell you all _and _you were surprised!" Jacob and I busted out laughing.

As soon as the shock had come on it came off and everyone rushed to congratulate us. Quil tried to squish all of the air out of my lungs in with the big hug he gave me. After a few minutes of hugs and congratulations from the guys I felt the two very familiar warm arms wrap around my waist from behind. I laid my head against his chest and looked up at him smiling. He bent down and gave me a very loving chaste kiss.

When I finally looked away from Jacob I noticed Billy, Charlie and Sue making their way towards us. I gave my dad a hug as Jacob bent down and gave his dad one. After I finished hugging all three of them I leaned back and crossed my arms across my chest in a mock anger manner.

"So you were all in on this whole thing, huh?"

"Aww Bella. Well…" Charlie said; his voice was slightly fearful.

"Yep" Billy said nodding his head smiling.

"Aww, I'm just kidding dad. I really enjoyed getting to have breakfast with you as one of the stops on my scavenger hunt. Thank you."

"Well, your welcome. I enjoyed it too Bells." Charlie said visibly relaxing.

"Speaking of thank yous. Billy… I don't even know what to say. I am so honored to be wearing Jacob's mothers ring." I said as I started to tear up. "Thank you."

"Bella, you remind me so much of her. It only seemed fitting that you should wear her ring."

I bent down, gave him a big hug and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Hey now. You're only supposed to be kissing me, remember?" Jacob said as he wrapped his arms once again around my waist from behind.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you feeling neglected?"

"Yes…" he said with a pouty face.

I rolled my eyes at him as he bent down and kissed me.

Things started to calm down finally after a little while and I went to sit with Emily and see Levi. We chatted a little bit. Then she asked to see the ring.

"Oh, it's so beautiful. He did a really good job picking it out." Emily said looking at my ring.

"He didn't really pick it out. It was his mom's ring."

"That is so sweet." she said starting to cry.

"Oh Emily, please don't cry." I said trying frantically to soothe her.

"Don't worry about it. It's all of these crazy hormones. It'll pass in a moment." she said and she already started to calm down.

"So when is the big day?"

"I don't know…"

"Do you know where you're going to have it?"

"No… not really. We haven't really talked about it yet."

"Did you talk about anything?"

"No…" I said. I felt an all too familiar blush creep across my face in embarrassment.

"Ok, well when you do, I want to help plan it."

"Anything for you Emily."

We laughed and relaxed on the couch just, chatting about random things when all of a sudden she turned to me.

"Oh, here. Will you hold him for a second? I have to go to the bathroom. You would think that after the pregnancy was over the frequent bathroom trips would be too but they're not." She stood up and handed me Levi.

I was surprised to see that he fit in my arms perfectly. He didn't even stir when he was placed there. When she came back she just stood in front of me.

"Oh, it just looks so natural, you holding a baby." Then she turned towards Jacob and added, "Doesn't she just look stunning holding a baby Jake? I bet she'd even look cuter holding a baby of her own. Hint, hint."

Leah spoke up before anyone else had a chance to. "Speaking of having babies. Deryk and I have an announcement."

"No…" Sam whispered from next to Jacob.

"We're having a baby. I'm pregnant!" Leah almost yelled.

Everyone rushed over to her and Deryk to congratulate them except for me, Jacob ,and Sam. I stayed on the couch. Jacob sat next to me, put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. We were both really happy for Leah and Deryk but neither one of us wanted to disturb the baby. I couldn't help but notice out of the corner of my eye that Sam had sat down in the chair next to me. He had a slightly shocked and dazed expression.

Jacob leaned over and whispered in my ear. "You know, Emily is right. You look amazing holding Levi. You just have this perfect look about you that makes you look like this is what you are supposed to do. Bella… I've never asked you before, but do you _want _to have kids?"

"I don't know… I've never really thought about it before now. But your both right. Holding him just feels so natural. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I want nothing more that to have a family with you Jacob. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella honey. And we don't have to make any decisions right now but I am glad it's at least got you thinking."

"Speaking of decisions, we have made any regarding the wedding yet."

"I guess we haven't. Why don't we talk about it later, when we're alone?"

"Sounds like a plan."

The rest of the night went without any more announcements. Emily opened all of the baby gifts everyone had gotten her and she let me hold him for the rest of the night. All too soon it was time to go and it was so hard letting him go. We said our goodbyes to everyone and walked home. As soon as I spotted my truck I remembered what I had bought at the boutique and got very nervous. Maybe Jacob still had a few more plans for the evening that I didn't know about yet…

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**I wasn't going to leave this with a cliff hanger but… sorry. Lol. Anyways I hope you like it so far. **

**Please Review!**

**I like getting to hear ideas about how you think the story should go.**


	7. Lust and Letting Go

**A/N So I had a harder time writing this then I thought I was going to because I've never written anything like it before.**

**Oh, and seeing as I'm such a terrible updater I would like to recommend an amazing writer for you to read while you are frustrated at my slow updating. Her user name is twilightsgrace23 and she is a Jacob fan as well. She is under my Favorite Authors. She has 3 amazing stories and she updates a lot faster than I do. I bow down to her amazing-ness and I think you should go check her out!**

**Thanks again to my wonderful amazing Beta, SimplyKelp. Girl, you know you're my bff! **

**Chapter 7 : Lust and Letting Go**

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_As soon as I spotted my truck I remembered what I had bought at the boutique and got very nervous. Maybe Jacob still had a few more plans for the evening that I didn't know about yet…_

I began to grow even more nervous the closer I got to the house. Jacob must have noticed my tension because he looked down at me with concern and confusion written in his eyes.

"Are you ok, Honey?"

"Hmm? I…uh… umm…" I shock my head slightly to clear it and smiled, "Yeah, I'm fine. You know what, why don't you go on ahead inside. I have to get something out of my truck."

"Ok sweetheart. I'll see you upstairs." He said wearily. He bent down and gave me chaste kiss then headed inside.

I waited until he was inside then ran over to my truck. I grabbed the bag that was on the seat then the other bag that was under the seat that contained my gift for Jacob. I went into the house and headed up the stairs. My nerves grew more the higher up I got.

_What if I'm not any good? What if I'm down right terrible? What if I'm so bad he never wants to touch me again? Then he leaves me… _

I began to panic as I reached our bedroom door. I couldn't handle it if he left me; I couldn't survive without him. I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts. _Jacob loves you, _I told myself, _and he wants to marry you. Even if you were horrible he would never leave you._ I took a deep breath and opened the door. Jacob had already changed into his usual bedtime attire: plaid flannel pajama bottoms and no shirt. Oh, how I loved seeing him like this. He was just coming out of the bathroom when I entered. He looked up when he heard me.

"Hey babe." he said. He walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist and looked into my eyes lovingly, "I thought that after all of the excitement and everything today that you might like to just relax so I ran you a bubble bath. I hope that's alright."

I smiled up warmly to him, "Oh, thank you sweetheart. That was very thoughtful. I would love to take a bubble bath."

"Ok, well I have it all ready for you. I want you to just go in and relax. Don't worry about a thing." he leaned down and right before he kissed me he spoke against my lips. "I love you." Then he kissed me softly but passionately.

We kissed for about a minute when I pulled back. "I love you too." Then I kissed him once more and went into the bathroom.

I stripped down, pulled my hair up, and got into the warm water. The more relaxed I was the more confident I became.

_I can do this._ I thought to myself_. Jacob loves me and I love him, more than anything. Granted, our first time isn't going to be amazing because we're both virgins but we are meant to be together. I'm his imprint for goodness sakes! We were made for each other and made to be together intimately. In fact, up until now we've only been fighting the inevitable, fighting destiny! _

By now I was so worked up I hopped out of the tub before I was even pruney. I toweled off and put on some of shimmer body butter. I had gotten it from my mother for Christmas. It smelled like honey and roses. Jake loved it. Then I opened the bag with the lingerie I had bought earlier and put it on. I pulled my hair back slightly with a claw clip so that it wasn't in my face but my churls cascaded down my back nicely. I looked in the full length mirror behind the door and was pleased with what I saw. I looked good! I smiled to my self in the mirror then pulled open the door.

Jacob was lying on our bed with his arms behind his head looking up at the ceiling. He looked over at me briefly then did a double take. His eyes grew to the size of saucers and his mouth opened slightly. I smirked to my self inwardly, very pleased with the response I got. I gave him a playfully sexy look as I sauntered over to him. I had no idea where I was getting all of this boldness from but I liked it! He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed onto the floor.

"Bella…?" he breathed. I heard shock and confusion in his voice but there was something else hiding slightly behind it. Was it lust? That spurred me on more.

Just as I was about to reach him he stood up but I pushed him back down onto the bed so that he was lying flat across it width wise. I crawled onto the bed and then threw my leg over him so that I was straddling his stomach. I bent down and just when he started to try to speak I pressed my mouth against his in a fiery, passionate kiss. I cupped both of his cheeks in my hands as he wound his around my waist pulling me closer so that I was flush against his chest. I opened my mouth slightly and brushed my tongue against his bottom lip begging for entrance which he gladly gave. Our tongues fought for dominance until I pulled away for air. Jacob's lips never left my skin. He started trailing kisses across my chin and down my jaw line. As he did this I slipped my hands down between our bodies and stated untying his pants. I Felt his hot lips against my ear.

"Bella, honey. What are you doing." he said softly yet playfully.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

With that he pushed my back slightly so that he could look in my eyes.

"Bella, why are you trying to take my pants off?"

"How else are we going to make love?" and with that I leaned back down and recaptured his lips. He laid there unmoving for a few second then broke the kiss. This time I was the one that didn't leave his skin. I kissed up to his eyes and he said my name again but this time his tone was slightly more forceful and slightly regretful.

"Don't you want me?" I said huskily in his ear and then ran my tongue around the edge of it.

I felt him shiver slightly then he gripped my shoulders and pushed me back so that I was in a sitting position. He slid his hands under my arms, picked me up, and sat me next to him on bed. Then he got up and turned to face me.

"Bella, I didn't ask you to marry me just to get in your pants. I love you and you deserve so much more that _this._" he said while he waved a hand a round indicating the room and everything.

"But I don't need anything other than you, Jacob. You're all I want and need, forever. I don't care if your first time was in a cheap fleabag motel, as long as it's with you nothing else matters." I said as I stood up.

"Bella, I thought we would wait. I know you've wanted to get married in June ever since you saw Seven Brides for Seven Brothers*. That's a little less than three months away and that's not that long of a time to wait. I thought that we would have a small wedding with just friends and family then have a _proper_ honeymoon. No one waits anymore and to be honest I want our first time to be as husband and wife. I want you to be all mine."

I understood him but all of a sudden all of the confidence and boldness was gone and it was replaced with shame, embarrassment, unworthiness and unrequited desiring rushed at me and hit me like a tone of bricks. Before I could register it my eyes filled with tears and began to spill over.

"Bella." He said as he took a step towards me but instead I rushed past him making a beeline for the bathroom. I didn't want him to see me like this and frankly I just didn't want to be around him right now. Before I could make it however he wrapped his arms around my waist from the back and spun me around into his chest. He held me there and let me cry while he rubbed soothing circles into my back.

"Bella honey. It's not that I don't _want _to be with you, because trust me _I do._" With that he pulled me a little closer causing his arousal to press lightly against me stomach. "It's just… Bella, you are the most amazing person I have ever met and I feel blessed to have you in my life. And now on top of everything you've made me the luckiest man alive because you've agreed to be my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life giving you everything you deserve and want, starting with the perfect first time. Please understand me. I love so much Bella and I can't wait to be your husband."

"I do understand but understand me, I don't _need _anything showy or over the top, just you. I love you Jacob Black, more than anything or anyone. You're my Prince Charming."

He leaned down, wiped away my tears and kissed me deeply. The kiss wasn't needy or lustful but filled with love and hope. He scooped me up and carried me back to the bed. We kissed for a few more minutes then just lay there in each others arms, cuddling. Just as we were drifting off he leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Bella. You are my life." and with that he drifted off to sleep.

I on the other hand was instantly wide awake. Edward's voice rang in my head saying the exact same words. He said them to me after I woke up in the hospital in Phoenix. It felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. The whole in my chest was no longer there but my heart stung. I hadn't thought of Edward in months. I hadn't heard his voice since the day in the truck when he told me to be happy. That was the day Jake imprinted on me. So why would it come back now? I was finally happy and I had finally moved on. I mean I got engaged to Jacob, my soul mate, today for goodness sakes!

_No _I told myself _you do NOT have feelings for him anymore. He is your past and Jacob is your future. What the two of you shared for over that short period was amazing, but it's over. He __**left **__you! He didn't care about you! The pain he caused almost killed you! Jacob was the one who saved you and loves you and would __**never ever **__hurt you like that. The end!_

After my little conversation with myself I was feeling much better. I snuggled up closer to Jake and felt asleep.

The next thing I knew I was standing in the middle of the forest. It was very similar to the dream I had after Jake told me Edward was a vampire. I began looking around when I heard a honey velvet voice say my name. I spun around and Edward was walking towards me with the sun sparkling off of him.

"Edward?" I breathed barely able to believe my eyes. He smiled my favorite crooked smile and I rush towards him. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace.

"Edward… I can't believe you're here, how are you here?"

"Bella, my love, I couldn't stay away from you. As much as I tried your all I thought about."

"Oh Edward, I missed you so much!" I said as I started to cry.

"As I you, sweetheart. I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward."

He leaned down to kiss me and right before our lips met I heard another voice.

"What about me, Bells?"

I whipped around to see Jacob standing across the open area from me.

"Jake… Jake I love you." I said as I started to run to him. I got about half way when Edward stopped me.

"But you love me. You want to be with me" Edward said.

"No, you love. I'm the one you want to be with." Jacob said.

"I…uhhh…" I said whipping my head back and forth between them.

"Bella." Edward said taking a step forward, extending his hand.

"Bells." Jacob said mimicking the same moves as Edward.

I stood there whipping my head back and forth until I couldn't take it any more. I just wanted it all to stop. I covered my face with my hands and screamed.

I sat bolt upright in bed. I was panting and I looked around. I was safe in my room and Edward was no where in sight. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Bells? Are you ok?" Jacob said sleepily next to me. I looked down at him.

"Yeah Jake, I'm fine. Just had a bad dream. That's all. Go back to sleep." I laid back down and snuggled into him. He wrapped his arms securely around me and fell back to sleep.

_What the hell was going on with me? I haven't dreamed about him for months now. This is crazy. I've got to do something. Obviously I haven't let him completely go yet. I can't marry Jake if I still have feelings for Edward. I've got to let him go._

With that I got up and threw on a pair of jeans. I looked out the window and the sun was just coming up. I went down stairs and grabbed my coat. I left Jake a note telling him I'd be back in a little bit, and then I headed out to my truck. I want sure where I was going but I knew I had to go somewhere and say my piece to Edward so that I could finally fully let him go and move on. There were only a few places that held any significance to him and me.

The meadow, but it was too hard to get to and I wasn't sure if I could find it. The baseball clearing, but that held a bad memory. The biology room at Forks High, but I couldn't get in there. The forest outside Charlie's house where he left me. In theory that was the best place to say good bye because it's where he said it to me but I couldn't go there, it was still too painful. That left only one place. The Big White House.

Before I had even realized that's where I wanted to go I was already headed there. I headed down the highway looking for the small break in the trees indication the start of the Cullen's drive way. I finally found it and started up the windy road. It seamed like forever but I finally found the beak in the trees and the big white house lay in front of me. I pulled up to the front and got out. I looked at the house and something seamed different from the last time I was here. It didn't look like the scary house I had seen after Edward held left. It looked more like it did while he was still here. _It must just be the sunshine._

I started to walk up to the house but something just didn't feel right. It felt off, like this wasn't the right place to let him go. I started to walk back to my truck, but when I turned I thought I saw something sparkly next to the house. Not thinking much about it, I reached to open my door when I heard a honey velvet voice.

"Bella?"

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**I know, I'm such a tease! I promise there will be a lemon or more but I'm having them wait.**

**So what do you think? Who's at the house? What's gonna happen to Bella?**

*** Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is a 1954 movie that has a song called "June Bride" that says "when you marry in June, You will always be a bride."**

**I honestly completely changed the whole plot when I started thinking about this chapter so I hope you won't kill me.**

**Reviews are better than **_**almost **_**having sex with Jacob…. Ok that's a lie, but I'd still appreciate reviews and feed back! Please, I have jury duty. I need something to brighten my day.**


	8. So Much for Letting Go

**Ok, sorry your getting this twice but I messed up the title.**

**I have to admit I was really excited to write this chapter but then got terrible writer's block. I just came up with the idea of changing the plot so that it went this way when I was writing the last chapter.**

**Chapter 8: So Much for Letting Go…**

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_Previously on My Personal Sun…_

_I started to walk back to my truck, but when I turned I thought I saw something sparkly next to the house. Not thinking much about it, I reached to open my door when I heard a honey velvet voice._

"_Bella?"_

I stopped dead. I would know that voice anywhere, but never thought I would hear it again. The question was, was it real? I took a deep breath and looked up. What I saw nearly made my knees give out. There stood Edward Cullen sparkling like he was covered in a million brilliant diamonds. He was haloed by the sunlight and more beautiful than I ever remembered. Surely this was a dream, either that or I was going crazy again.

"Edward?" I breathed barely audible, but I know he could hear me.

He walked towards me at a fast human pace and I thought he was going to stop in front of me but instead he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him. The next thing I knew his lips were crushed against mine. The second his lips touched mine I knew this wasn't a dream. Edward had never kissed me with this much intensity in real life or in my dreams. For some reason I wasn't fighting it. Instead I was kissing him back with just as much intensity. My mind was clouded in all that is Edward Cullen. My lips molded to his as if the time apart never happened. Before I could clear my mind I heard a high pitched squeal. The second our lips broke apart I was instantly pulled away from Edwards steel arms and into a pair of much smaller yet just as cold and strong arms.

"Bella! I missed you so much!" Alice's twinkling chime voice said as she pulled back out of our hug but didn't release me.

"Oh Alice, I missed you too! You have no idea how happy I am to see you!"

I heard a loud, deep voice boom from in the house, "Bella?!" Then I heard thunderous footsteps and saw Emmett emerging from the house and looking right at me. The second he saw me his face lit up in a huge smile and then I was being crushed in Emmett's bear hug.

"Em… Can't…breath…"

"Oh, sorry Bella." he said releasing me, "I can't believe you're here and look how much you've changed!"

"Oh Em, look at you. You've changed so much too!" I said sarcastically. Emmett's booming laughter surrounded me.

I smirked at him and looked up at the porch to see the rest of the Cullen family standing there looking down at the scene.

"Esme." I breathed. Esme had become like a second mother to me before they left. She was the only one I had in Forks and then she left. It crushed me but now I was so happy to see her I started to tear up. I walked past Emmett and Alice as she walked down the steps towards me. A few seconds later she was pulling me into a tight hug.

"Oh Esme. I missed you so much." I said as I felt the tears that were building up in my eyes spill over.

"Bella dear, I missed you too. More than you know." She said and I could hear the tears in her voice. Sure enough, when I pulled back I saw her eyes filled with the tears she could never shed.

"Oh Esme." I said as I pulled her back into another hug. We held each other for another minute, just savoring the feeling and expressing our love for each other wordlessly.

Finally we broke apart. She held my hand and we walked into the house. She pulled me down onto the couch and hugged me again. Everyone else came in and sat down. Alice sat next to me and Edward sat in the chair adjacent to us. I realized that even though a million things had happened since we had first seen each other this morning, I don't think he had ever taken his eyes off of me.

We all sat there, talking and catching up on all of the things that had happened in the years since they left. It felt like only minutes passed, but I realised we had been talking for hours. I left out what Jake was and anything about us that was more than friends. I was protecting him and the pack. Or at least that's what I told myself. I was glad, as I was a lot of the time when I was around Edward, that he could not read my mind. As we sat there he didn't say one thing. It wasn't until my phone rang in my pocket that I realized how lone I had been gone. I looked down at the screen and saw Jake's face smiling back up at me.

"Oh, I…um… I need to take this. Will you please excuse me?" I got up from the couch.

"Of course, dear. Take all of the time you need."

I walked out of the house and down the steps. I walked into the grass, sat down facing away from the house and answered my phone.

"Hey Jake."

"Bella! Oh thank goodness your alright. I've been so worried that you had got hurt or something. Where are you? What have you been doing. You are alright, right?"

"Yes Jake, I'm fine. I'm sorry I made you worry. I guess I just lost track of time."

"It's alright, honey. As long as your fine. You didn't answer me though, where are you? What have you been doing?"

_Crap! _I thought, _what am I going to say? I can't very well tell him I'm hanging out with a family of Vampires. He'd go nuts and storm over here to 'rescue' me. No, I can't let that happen. _

"Oh, I just ran into some old friends and we were just catching up. I guess we were having so much fun that we didn't realize how long we had been at it."

"Anyone I know?"

"No, not really." Which wasn't _much_ of a lie considering I don't think he had ever actually _met _the Cullens.

"OK, well take your time. I'll see you later then, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

I hung up and stood. When I turned around Edward was standing a few feet away. I was immediately afraid that he had overheard.

"Will you go for a walk with me?" He didn't alleviate any of that fear.

I was afraid my voice would betray my worries so I just nodded. He walked forward and took my hand.

We walked to the edge of the small clearing and then into the woods. We walked for a few minutes without saying anything at all. The farther we went the more panicked I became. This was just too similar to when he left me. Just as I was about to open my mouth and say something he stopped and turned to face me while reaching out and taking my other hand as well.

"Bella, I never thought I would see you again." He pulled me in and kissed me with so much passion, something he never did before today. This time I remembered Jacob and I pushed away.

"Edward… please don't do that again." I whispered. The second the words left my lips part of me wished so badly that I could take it back but the other part knew it was the right thing to do. His face panicked.

"Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry. I didn't-" I stopped him before he could continue.

"No, you didn't hurt me. I'm fine." His face became confused then realization washed over his face.

"You don't want me." He said repeating the same words that I said to him when he left me. He dropped my hands and started to step away but I quickly reached out and grabbed his hand stopping him.

"No Edward, of course I do. It's just…" What was I supposed to say _it's just that I moved on after you left and now I'm engaged to another man, who just happens to be your mortal enemy._ Oh yeah, that ought go over well. I decided to change directions. "What are you doing here, Edward? Why are you back?"

He looked down, away from my eyes but reached out and seized my other hand and stood facing me again.

"Bella…" His voice came out so sad and so full of pain. "I meant to keep my word and never bother you again but it was just so painful to be away from you. We were on our way to Denali but some how Alice convinced us to make the pit stop and to be honest I didn't really mind stopping. I was hoping to see you with out you seeing me but we had only just got to the house minutes before you arrived."

He finally looked up and focused his gaze on meeting my eyes.

"Bella, I lied to you. I could _never_ not want you. You're everything to me and being without you was like being empty. While I was away I never stopped loving you and not for one second did I not think of you. The thing that happened with Jasper scared me so much Bella. That was the second time you almost lost your life because of me. If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, I couldn't live if something were to happen to you, especially if it was because of me."

He leaned down and tried to kiss me but I closed my eyes and turned my cheek at the last second.

"Edward, please…" I said still not above a whisper. I stood still facing away with my eyes closed. I so badly wanted to kiss him but talking about this was just dredging up painful memories of what he did and made me even more focused on Jacob because of how he saved me.

"I know I hurt you, Bella and I'll never forgive myself for that. Like I told you before, I came back here planning on keeping my word but the second I saw you I knew I could never leave again. It was like I was finally whole after all of this time."

He reached over, put his finger under my chin and turned my face towards him. I opened my eyes and looked into his honey golden eyes.

"Bella, I swear I will never leave you again unless you tell me to. Now that I'm back we can be together again. It will be as if I never left. We could go back to the way we were before and I promise I'll give you anything you want. If you still want I'll change you. I realized I could never live without you and to spend eternity with you would be heaven to me. Please Bella…"

He hooked his arm around my waist and leaned down, trying to kiss me again but I stepped back, breaking our connection. I looked up into his eyes and felt the anger begin to rise.

_Who does he think he is, or better yet who does he think _I_ am? _I thought to my self. _Does he think that I am just some pathetic girl who only lives for him and would drop everything good she has finally going for her and run back to him because he wants me again?! Maybe I would have before but not now! If that was one thing Jacob did it was transform me from the pathetic weak girl I was with Edward and made me into a much stronger woman._

"Will you please_ stop_ trying to kiss me!?" I said. I know he heard the anger in my voice.

"Why Bella? Why do you keep pushing me away? You told me you still wanted me…"

"Because Edward, how _dare_ you come back here and just expect me to accept you back with opening arms after what you did to me. When you left, it almost _killed_ me. I spent weeks in a catatonic and when I finally woke up from that I spent the next four or so months in a zombie state. I was there in body but inside I was numb and dead to the word."

He winced as I spat out my venom coated words. I knew I was hurting him by saying this but frankly he deserved it for what he did.

"Bella, I'm so sorry.." he mumbled.

"SORRY! You're SORRY!?" That was it. He had done it now. I felt my eyes brim with tears and flood over, running down my cheeks. I walked up to him and started beating my fists against his chest. He just stood there and let me. Some part of my brain knew that it didn't hurt him, only me but I didn't care.

"YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME HERE TO _DIE_! YOU WERE MY WHOLE WORLD, AND YOU JUST…_LEFT_! I HATE YOU!"

My fists started to slow until I was just barely hitting him with my open hand and now I was crying so hard I could hardly see.

"You left me…." I whimpered-- sobbed-- into his chest with my palms pressed against it. He wrapped his arms around me tightly. "How could you leave me?"

"Bella…" he whispered in my ear and I could hear from his voice that if he could he would be crying too. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered.

"Bella?" A deep, pained voice that didn't belong to Edward said from behind me.

I didn't need to turn around to know who had spoken. That voice belonged to one man and I would know it anywhere.

_Jacob. _

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**Ok before you all want to jump though the computer and kill me, please just look at the title of the story and look and see who the main characters are. I haven't changed anything and I'm not going to.**

**Now, please review! Tell me how much you hate or love or whatever me!**


	9. This Can't End Well

_**A/N: I feel so bad that I didn't thank my amazing Beta, SimplyKelp, last week. Seriously I got so stuck she had to virtually slap me to get me to write again and she is constantly asking me how I'm doing. I 3 her. **_

_**YAY! We hit over 100 reviews! Keep it up!**_

_**Again I point out that if you are worried about Edward to check out the title and main characters listed. I haven't changed it and I'm not ever going to. Oh, and stop hating on Bella so much. If you had those two amazingly sexy men wanting you, you would have a hard time too. Oh, and is only human**_**. Sorry, couldn't resist.**

**Anyways Chapter 9: This can't end well.**

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_Previously on My Personal Sun…_

"_Bella…" he whispered in my ear and I could hear from his voice that if he could he would be crying too. "I love you."_

"_I love you too." I whispered._

"_Bella?" A deep, pained voice that didn't belong to Edward said from behind me._

_I didn't need to turn around to know who had spoken. That voice belonged to one man and I would know it anywhere._

_Jacob. _

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I instantly tensed up and froze. What_ is he doing here? Did he just hear what I said. _I pulled my hands off of Edwards chest and spun around to see Jacob standing twenty feet away. Jacob took one look at my face, shifted and turned to run. My mind was a whirlwind but I knew I had to stop him, I had to make him understand.

"Jacob, wait!" I started to run towards him. I only made it about three steps before steel arms wrapped around my middle and stopped me.

"Edward, let go! Jacob _please_, don't go." I yelled as I squirmed in his arms. Jacob stopped, turned around, and growled ferociously. He came back to were he was before and I squirmed harder.

"Edward, I said let me go! NOW!"

"No Bella, he's dangerous. You could get hurt." he whispered in my ear.

Jacob continued growling at Edward but I could see the pain in his dark eyes.

"Edward, I swear. If you don't let me go _right now_ I will not stop him from tearing you to shreds! Jacob would _never _hurt me, unlike _you_…"

He let go as if I had elbowed him in the stomach. I knew it was a cruel thing to say but I had to do something. I ran to Jacob, wrapped my arms around his neck and started to cry even harder than before. He nudged my back with his snout in a comforting way. Once I had calmed myself enough I pulled back, placed both of my hands on either side of his face and rested my forehead against his massive one. I kept my eyes closed and whispered to him, even though part of me knew Edward could still hear but at that point I didn't care. Jacob was my only priority.

"Jacob, I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't know you were there. I-" when I said this he started to pull away but I just tightened my grip on the fur of his face. "No! please that's not how I meant. Jacob I need to talk to you… but not like this." I said while petting him. I lowered my voice even more to the point where it was almost in audible. " Shift back for me baby… Please… I _need_ you."

He whined a little but slightly nodded his head. I pulled back slightly, kissed his nose, and then let go. He backed away and then turned and ran into the forest to shift. I stood there for a second and calmed myself. I wiped away the tears and turned to face Edward but when I turned I noticed that his whole family was standing fifteen feet across from me. Most of them had looks of shock and disgust but Esme's face was wrought with concern.

"Bella, what?…" Edward said and I knew I had to face the consequences. I turned and walked back to him. I stopped a few feet in front of him.

"Edward, when you left I died and Jacob brought me back to life. He held me when it felt like I was being ripped in two and he nursed me back to health. Edward…" I pulled the engagement ring I had taken off before I got out of my truck earlier from my pocket and raised my hand to show him. "Jacob and I are engaged."

The look of pain on his face nearly brought me to my knees but it was soon interrupted by Jacob, who had apparently come back.

"Are we, Bella?"

"Oh Jacob…" I turned and walked back to him. I noticed that he was wearing his normal cut off jeans. The second I reached him I through my arms around his waist and pressed my body tightly to his. He stiffened and hesitated but after a few seconds he wrapped his arms around me. We just held each other for a second until he release me and I stepped back.

"Bella, what's going on? What are you doing here with _them_?" he said looking strait into my eyes.

"Yeah Bella, what _is_ going on?" Edward said. I turned and took a few steps towards him but Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled me back. Edward growled and started towards us. I pulled my hand out of Jacob's grasp. I ran towards Edward to stop him. I placed my palms against his chest and tried to push him back. Instead he pulled me into his arms and held me close.

"Bella, it's ok. I'm back now and I'm not going anywhere. You don't _have _to be with this _dog_ anymore."

"Edward!" I pushed back and took a few steps away. I was now standing between both of them, in the middle. My comment went unnoticed by both men.

"She doesn't _have _to be with anyone. She _chose _me, Bloodsucker!"

"Jacob!" I said and whipped my head towards him. I was really beginning to get annoyed with all of the name calling.

"Yeah, well now the better _choice _is back, Mutt!"

I open my mouth but Jacob beat me to it.

"Better choice, my ass! She is my imprint, I was _made _for her Leach!"

"I've waited my entire existence for her. I am her one and _only _love. I can give her everything she could ever need or want and more, Pup."

"No all you can do is take away, her life, her family, and her chance to have _babies. I _can give her the things she really wants, not _you_, Parasite!"

"I may not be able to give her those thing but I will give her what she wants, and what she wants is me for eternity, right Bella?"

By now my head was whipping back and forth so much and so fast it felt like I had whiplash. I was hyperventilating and was beginning to feel light headed. _How did this all happen? _"I-"

"No, what she wants is to spend the rest of her _life _with me and our family, right Bella?"

"Umm" and then I couldn't breath. I looked right at Esme with pleading eyes. Then I started loose consciousness. I felt two small steal arms catch me right before everything went black.

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**I know this was kinda short and it took forever but I had some serious writers black and besides that I've been watching my 2 and a half year old nephew for the past two weeks on and off because his grandma had to have surgery because they found a brain tumor.**

**Anyways please Review! I really appreciate the feed back.**


	10. Anger, Pain, & Tears That Wont Ever Fall

**I know it's been forever and I'm so sorry this took so long but I've been really busy with work and school. I hope you like this chapter. I'll totally admit that I started crying while I wrote what Rose said, just a warning.**

**Oh, and I put up some links on my profile with outfits from this story.**

**Lastly I have the world best Beta, SimplyKelp. Thanks girly!**

**Chapter 10: Anger, Pain, and Tears That Won't Ever Fall.**

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_Previously on My Personal Sun…_

…_I couldn't breath. I looked right at Esme with pleading eyes. Then I started loose consciousness. I felt two small steal arms catch me right before everything went black._

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**Esme POV**

I felt so helpless as I stood there watching these to boys rip my Bella to shreds emotionally. She just stood there between the two men she loved the most as they argued over her, over her affection. Making choices about her whole life without even so much as a look her way. If they had they would have seen what it was doing to her. The louder they got, the more my sweet girl seem to get hurt.

Just when it seemed like she couldn't take anymore, she look straight into my eyes pleading me for help and fainted. I ran to her and caught her just before she hit the ground. I checked instantly to hear that she was still breathing and her heart was beating. Her mind just couldn't handle everything and did the only thing it could to protect her. I held her to me like a baby. The boys must have notice what happened because the next thing I knew they were at my side, first worried then blaming each other.

I couldn't take it anymore. This was their fault, both of theirs! They messed with my youngest daughter, and now they were going to feel her mother's wrath. I spoke without looking away from her face.

"Shut up. This is your fault, BOTH OF YOURS! You two fighting over her like she's a toy. For men who claim to love her so much neither of you even stopped to see how this was affecting her. But that's one of the problems, your not men your little boys who can't seem to keep their tempers and testosterone levels in check for one minute!"

I started to step away when Jacob stepped in front of me.

"Jacob Black I know that you're worried about her but right now she needs to rest. I would never hurt her, she is one of my daughters and as her mother I'm telling you to get the hell out of my way before you end up flat on your back."

He looked into my eyes and must have seen not only anger but love and concern because a second later he stepped aside.

I heard Edward snicker like a child from behind me and I whipped around to face him.

"I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you, Edward Anthony. You've caused her more pain than anyone! You may be my son but I don't care because right now to me you're just one of the two boys that are hurting my daughter." The cocky grin he had on his face was wiped off and replaced with a frown.

"Now I'm taking Bella back to the house so she can rest and if when she wakes up she wants to talk I will be here for her, but I won't try and persuade or make her decision for her. And neither of you are allowed anywhere near her until she decides otherwise. In fact you're not even allowed in the house! And Edward if I even so much as feel you trying to pry into my mind or anyone else I will have Rosalie rip your Aston Martin to pieces."

I turned and walked to the rest of my family who had wide eyes and slacked jaws.

"Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle I want you three to stand guard outside of the house and if either of them try to go inside, you have my permission to stop them anyway you see fit. And before you say it, No Emmett you may not rip Jacob to shreds because he won't heal like we do. No committing murder. Let's go girls."

And with that I walked ahead with the girls flanking me to the house.

We walked inside and straight up to mine and Carlisle's room. I laid her down on the bed so she could rest comfortably. I sat on the end of the bed and watched her for a little while. She was in so much pain and it was only going to get worse because she was going to have to make a decision. I said that I wouldn't influence her decision but that was partly because I didn't know who I wanted her with. She looked so peaceful while she slept; her face and body had finally relaxed. I now knew why Edward loved to watch her sleep so much.

Finally I turned around and faced my girls. They were sitting on the couch against the wall.

"Now I know you both have your opinions but I need you to keep them to yourselves. Bella needs to make a decision that is going to affect the rest of her life and she needs to do it all on her own. We're here to help her but not influence her one way or the other."

"Esme, I don't think I can just sit here and let here make a huge mistake." Alice said, "She belongs with Edward, to be a member of our family. She is supposed to be with us forever."

"Alice, she is a member of our family, whether she is with Edward or not. Do you see something in Bella's future that you're not telling us?"

"No Esme, I don't see anything and that's what scares me. I don't know if it's because she's chosen the _dog_ or if it's because she hasn't made her choice yet. She's supposed to be one of us, I've seen it! She's happy with us and I just don't know if I can loose her again…" Alice said as the tears welled up in her eyes that would never fall.

I opened my arms and she ran into them. I held her to me, comforting her.

"I know, sweetheart. I don't want to loose her either, but I don't think if she chooses Jacob that she's going to exile us from her life. She loves us and even if he tried to tell her she couldn't see us, she wouldn't listen to him. She's too stubborn and strong willed for that." Alice and I giggled a little about that because we both knew it was true.

"I think she should choose the mutt." Rosalie said softly from the couch. She had been quiet the whole time.

"What?" Alice and I said at the same time turning to look at her as Alice moved to sit next to me on the bed.

"I know she and I haven't ever really gotten along, and that's my fault, but she doesn't deserve to be damned like us. Bella's a good person and as much as I would like her to be an official member of our family, she deserves more. Yes, Edward would love her with all he has for eternity and we would be a family together, but that's all she would ever have. With the dog she could have everything. She could keep her family, have friends other than just her bothers and sisters, get married and become pregnant, watch those children grow as she grows old and then drift off to heaven with the man she loves. We can't do that because we're stuck like this!" She said motioning to her body, "Having to move around all the time and being forced to repeat high school over and over again as the outsiders. Esme, I know that you love us and Carlisle, but if given the chance to have your own baby, wouldn't you take it? Wouldn't you want her to have it?" She said motioning to Bella who was still asleep behind us.

Rosalie started to shake because she was crying tearless sobs. Alice and I both went to either of her sides and wrapped our arms around her. Everyone knew how much Rosalie hating being what she was, but she never showed anyone how much it really hurt her.

If I were being honest with myself, before this conversation with the girls had started I was hoping she would choose Edward and be with us but after hearing everything Rose said, I wasn't so sure anymore. Of course I wanted her in our family but Rose was right, I wanted her to have everything she could possibly ever have. We would give her the world if she wanted it, but we couldn't give her the things that only Jacob could.

We sat there for a while, just being close to each other and watching Bella sleep. Suddenly Alice leaped up and ran out of the room and down to her own. She came back up a few minutes later with a red button up, short sleeved shirt.

"Alice, what's that-" I started but stopped once I heard Bella stir on the bed and then open her eyes…

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**Ok, you know what to do. Make me happy. Tell me what you want to see happen.**


	11. Girl Talk

**Am I so glad how responsive you guys were to Esme's POV. I was kinda worried that you wouldn't like it. Also I am glad you got what Rose was saying. I thought it went with her character and it was kind of a shocker see as she hates Jacob so much in the books.**

**Thanks to my wonderful BetaFish for getting this back so fast! I 3 SimplyKelp!**

**Oh and the shirt will be explained, but it is also kind of a hint too.**

**I felt like giving you to this so soon because my sister in law went into labor and is having my first niece today, Kaydie Lynn. **

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_Previously on My Personal Sun…_

_Esme's POV_

_A red button up, short sleeved shirt._

"_Alice, what's that-" I started but stopped once I heard Bella stir on the bed and then open her eyes…_

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**BPOV**

I opened my eyes to a brightly lit room. I looked around and recognized the room that belonged to Carlisle and Esme. I had only ever been in this room a few times. It was beautifully decorated. It was the only other room on the top floor, other than Edwards. I looked around and saw three beautiful women smiling at me.

"How did I get here?" I asked, "The last thing I remember was standing in the woods between… Oh my gosh!" I shot up and started to get out of bed when Esme pushed me back down.

"Bella, everything is fine. The boys are outside, waiting, unharmed. You need to relax. You fainted out in the woods and we carried you back here to rest. And don't worry; remember all of the rooms are sound proof, even for vampires so they can't hear us."

"How did you get Jake to go along with that?" I asked.

Rosalie snorted and then replied. "Oh, you should have seen Esme! I've never seen her so angry. It was truly scary. She told him how much she loved you and then threatened him to make him move. And if that wasn't amazing enough she totally laid into Edward too! They looked like little boys who got put in time out when she was done with them!"

I was shocked and turned to see Esme with pride on her face.

"What? They were hurting my daughter and that wasn't ok with me."

"You still think of me as a daughter?" I asked quietly. I looked at my hands in my lap, afraid of what she might say.

Esme reached across and lifted my chin with her figure so until I was looking her in the eyes.

"Of course I do sweetheart. No matter what you will _always_ be my daughter. I love you sweetheart." She pulled me in for a tight hug.

"I love you too Esme." I said into her hair.

After we pulled back we looked at Alice and Rose.

"Well, now that that's done how about you go change." Alice said holding up a red button down with a black belt around the mid section.

"Alice, why…" I say her eyes move down to my stomach. I looked down and could see just the edge of my negligee from last night poking out.

"Oh, uhh… I totally forgot I was still wearing that." I said as I felt my familiar blush creep up my cheeks.

"Yeah I saw that you had and also that you would get hot so I thought you could change into this so you would be more comfortable than sitting here in your lingerie." she said giggling while making me blush even more.

I stood up, and walked to the bathroom to change, grabbing the shirt out of her hands. This caused Esme and Rose to start giggling as well. When I came back out they had stopped giggling and were all sitting on the big bed. I walked over and sat down with them.

"Thanks Alice, but I have a question. Why red? You always put me in blue."

"I know but I saw that you would want red."

"Interesting." I muttered to myself. Red was Jacob's favorite color on me where as Blue was Edwards. Come to think of it, I haven't really worn blue since Edward left.

"So since you were wearing lingerie I have to ask, what's it like with the mutt?" Rose asked.

"What do you mean? And don't call him mutt! His name is Jacob!"

"You know what I mean, what's sex like with _Jacob_?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"Rose!" Esme said as Alice giggled. I knew my face must be beat red by now.

"Oh come on Bella! We're all adults here and it's just us girls." Rose said leaning forward.

"I don't know." I said softly while looking at my lap.

"It's not like we're gonna tell anyone, I mean who would we tell anyways?"

"No Rose, you don't get it. I mean I don't know. Jacob and I have never been together like that. He wants to wait until we're married."

Wow, seriously? You just can't get a break can you? I mean between those two idiots outside you're never gonna get laid."

"Rose!" I said as I threw a pillow at her; which she dodged. She and I had never gotten along before but for some reason I just felt comfortable with her now. Like we were actually friends. Then she did something that completely shocked me: she smiled at me. Rosalie Hale Cullen smiled at me, Bella Swan. So I did the only thing I could do; I smiled back and it actually felt natural.

"Oh, I'm just playing Bella. But if your not having sex," she said as she reached out and snatched my negligee out of my hands and held it up to show everyone. "What is this for then?"

I lunged for it but missed because she moved out of the way first.

"Bella, if you tell me I'll give it back."

I sat back up and huffed. "Fine. Jacob proposed to me yesterday so to make it official I tried to seduce him last night but it didn't work."

"Oh well no wonder it didn't work." She said as she tossed it back to me. "Bella this is a cute nightgown but if you're going to seduce a man you got to give it a little more fire, you know make him drool. You've got the body and everything for it; you just need a little help with the fundamentals. Come on I'll help you."

"Rose I don't think right now is the best time. How about later." Esme said saving me a lot of embarrassment because she was right; I had no idea how to seduce a man.

"Ok, I'll let it drop for right now, but at least tell me you have something better than this to work with at home?" she said motioning to the fabric in my lap.

"Ummm… well, no not really." I said looking down, quite embarrassed.

"Bella Swan! I am so disappointed! I know we didn't spend much or really any time together before but I thought we would have rubbed off a little! Oh, we are so going shopping!"

"Rosalie, I already said not now." Esme spoke with emphasis to her oldest daughter.

"Fine, but tomorrow your ass is mine!" Alice gave a pouty look so she added "And Alice's." which caused Alice to bounce up and down clapping her hands and squeaking "YAY!"

"Bella." Esme said placing my attention back on her. "I know you don't want to, but you have a very important decision to make. You don't have to decide today; you can take as long as you need and I'm sure that those boys will respect and wait for you."

"Your right, I do." I said sighing. I lay back on the bed with my head in the center.

"We're here to talk with you if you'd like." Alice said as she lay down next to me.

"You can tell us anything and we promise not to judge." Rosalie said lying down across from me so that the tops of our head were only a few inches apart.

"We're here to help you sweetheart, but we won't influence or make your decision for you." Esme said lying between Rose and me.

We lay there, looking up at the ceiling for a minute or two just thinking when Alice broke the silence.

"Why don't you start from the beginning? I know we talked some earlier about your life since we left but you left out a big piece. Why didn't you tell us about Jacob?"

"To be honest I don't really know. In my head I kept telling myself that it was trying to protect him. You guys are mortal enemies but I know you would never hurt him so I don't know. I guess I was enjoying being part of the family again I was afraid that if I told you I was with him you wouldn't want me anymore."

"Oh Bella, that's silly. We love you. Now tell us about everything that happened after we left that you didn't tell us." Alice said reaching over to squeeze my shoulder gently.

"Ok well…" I took a deep breath and explained how bad it was after they left. I told them about Sam finding me in the forest and then the catatonic state I was in for days then the zombie months. I told them about the night I woke up from my zombie time and the men at the bar. I could feel Rose shaking behind me because it just hit a little too close to home so I move on quickly. I told them about Edwards's voice and the motor cycles and Jake's garage. Then about Sam's gang and then Jake pushing me away because Sam told him to. When I talked about the day in the meadow with Laurent all three women growled. I explained how Victoria had been after me because Edward killed James. Then I talked about the pack and my new family there. I told them how Charlie had gotten remarried to Sue Clearwater and how I now had a step brother and sister. I ended with the proposal and everything that happened that day. I was about to tell them about the dream when my stomach grumbled.

"Wow, that's a sound I haven't heard in a while. I guess we have been keeping you too occupied and to be honest I forgot how often you guys need to eat." Alice said giggling.

"Alice how could you forget? You have a perfect memory! And if you think regular humans are bed you should try werewolves. I swear all I do is cook for him and the guys. One of them eats as much as like 5 or more than me. It's kinda gross at times."

"Oh, so it's kinda like Emmett." Alice said jokingly.

"Hey! I don't make fun of your man, little miss cowgirl! For your information Emmett has to eat a lot because he burns it off so quickly while he's fucking my brains out!"

"Enough! I don't want to hear this and I'm sure Bella doesn't either. Now Bella, when was the last time you ate?" said Esme, coming to my rescue again.

"Umm, last night I think."

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Esme said as she sat up and looked me in the eyes. "Humans are supposed to eat three square meals a day and you haven't even had one! That's it, I'm going to make you something and you are going to eat all of it missy!"

She got off the bed and took two steps before she stopped and turned around.

"Um well we don't have any human food in the house… well no matter; I'll just run to the store and get you something."

"No Esme, make one of those lazy men out side do it. At least they'll be good for something then." Rose said while looking at her nails.

"That's a fantastic idea Rose."

"Oh, send Jacob. I'm sure he's starving right about now." I said feeling worried about him. I wonder when the last time he ate was. With his body heat and shifting he burns off so much, I'm afraid he might get hurt.

"You're probably right, but do you really think he'll leave you alone here with a bunch of vampires?" Esme said with doubt in her voice.

"Probably not. Well then said Edward. No wait, he won't leave either."

"Well what ever you do don't send Emmett. Do you remember what happened last time we sent him to get food for Bella?" Rose said with a mix of disgust and annoyance on her face.

"Oh yeah, I ended up with the strangest and most unappealing food I've ever scene. Not to mention revolting." Just thinking about that day made me want to throw up.

"Well you didn't have to eat it. Although watching you throw up was kind of amusing."

"Well I didn't want to hurt his feelings and that's so not funny Rose."

"Ok fine, then we'll send Jasper." Alice suggested.

"No, that's probably not the best idea. He needs to stay here to keep their emotions under control." I said while making a mental note to thank Jasper for how much he was doing to keep things under control.

"We'll send Carlisle." Esme said with finality.

Esme got off the bed and walked over to the window and opened it. Their bedroom was in the front of the house so they didn't have the glass window wall. The girls and I got up and fallowed her. I was anxious to see how the guys were behaving. Esme was at the middle window, I was on the left and the girls were on the right. I didn't stand there for long because the second I looked out the window I was furious! I turned and ran out the bedroom door and down the steps. I heard the three women fallowing closely behind me. One I reached the bottom floor I ran to the door and flung it open.

Sitting on the porch in various places where the three Cullen men. Out in the drive way Edward was pacing back and forth, but that's not what mad me so mad. Out lying on the lawn were five big furry wolves. Jacob had called in for backup and I recognized all of them.

"Jacob Ephraim Black! What the hell where you thinking?! Calling in backup! If it's not bad enough calling in Sam, Embry and Quil, but you called in my little brother!? Oh Seth, don't think that just because you're trying to hide that I can't see you! You get your furry little butt in those tree and shift back right now because we are so going to have a talk, mister!"

Seth, who had been trying to hide behind Quil and Embry lowered his head and moped off into the trees. I walked down so that I was right in front of Jacob and placed my hands on my hips.

"Jacob I know that you are worried about me but you are safe and so am I and there was no reason to call in for back up. And calling in Seth! Oh, we are so going to have a chat about this later." Jake whimpered and lowered his head to nuzzle it into my side. "Oh no! None of that! If you want to talk to me you can shift back and we can talk face to face or I will just have Edward," I said pointing behind me in Edwards general direction, "read your thoughts and tell me them for you which I know your not going to like."

He whimpered a little more and then turned around and walked into the trees where Seth was exiting, now in his human form. Seth slowly walked back to the group and stopped next to the wolf guys. I snapped my fingers twice and pointed down next to my side. He had a pained look on his face because he knew he was in trouble. He didn't move so I simply said "Now Seth." in a very commanding voice. Jake always called it my Mamma/Alpha voice.

He hung his head and walked over to me. I pointed down for him to bend then I slapped him in the back of the head, in a very Gibbs type way. I knew it didn't hurt, in fact he probably didn't even feel it, but it was humiliating, and that was the point.

"Seth Clearwater what were you thinking!? Coming over to a house full of vampires?! Your mother is going to be so mad when she finds out!"

With that his head shot up. "Oh Bella you wouldn't! I'm still on probation from the last time I got in trouble. It'll be double this time! Please Sis!" he gave me that puppy dog look that I pray to God my kids never inherit because I just can't ever seem to resist.

"Oh fine." I grumbled, giving in. "But I want to introduce you to some people."

I hooked my arm around his and dragged him up towards the porch.

"Seth, these are the Cullens. This is my other family. That's Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, Edward," I said motioning to each person, "And these are my pseudo parents, Esme and Carlisle." They smiled warmly down at me as I did them.

"Cullens, remember I told you Charlie got remarried. Well this is his stepson, Seth Clearwater, which makes him my little brother. He has an older sister, Leah. She's a wolf too but she can't shift right now because she's pregnant. I hope you guys get to meet her too. Rose, I think you'll really like her. You guys are practically personality twins." I started laughing but nobody else did because no one knew each other well enough to make that kind of remark so I added "Well once you all meet her, you'll think the same thing."

Seth shifted uncomfortably next to me; I knew I had tortured him enough. So I turned us around and walked back to Jake-- who was now in human form-- and the rest of the wolf men.

"Ok Seth, get your furry butt back to my house and I might not tell your mother." he didn't need anymore incentive; he ran towards the woods and was gone out of sight. I turned to look at Embry to see if he had shifted and was on his way and he nodded. I turned and walked towards Sam, but when I did I heard Jake sigh in relief. With out looking at him I said while pointing my index finger up next to my shoulder and said. "Oh don't think I'm done with you yet Jacob Black. We are going to have a talk after I send these three home." to which I earned a groan from not only him but the three wolves in front of me.

"Sam I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure Emily is not going to like it when I tell her that you're at a vampire house waiting for a fight while she's at home alone taking care of your days old newborn son." I gave him a pointed look and he whimpered. "Oh, I would totally tell her. In fact, if you're not gone in five seconds, I'll call her right now. Care to try and call my bluff?"

He hesitated for a second, that is until I started to count back from five. By the time I got to three he gave Jake an apologetic look and hightailed it out of there. I turned to the other two with the same stern pointed look and my hands on my hips. I raised one eyebrow at them and they did the same as Sam. I gave a small job well done snort and turned around to face Jacob.

"Jacob, how could you do this to me? Most of them have _finally _stopped calling me Vampire Girl and they've never seen me with the Cullens. What am I supposed to do?! I can't face them now! I am _not _ashamed of my relationship with the Cullens but do you know how long it took the pack and our friends to like and accept me?! Don't even try to tell me that it won't get out because I know that one of the _five_ of you is going to slip and think of this while in wolf form and everyone will know. And trust me, they will all talk."

"Oh, Bella I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking about that. I was just worried-" Jacob said but I cut him off.

"About _what _Jacob? I know that they're vampires but they're different. They would never hurt me or you or anyone else! How many times have I told you this already?! Why won't you just believe and trust me?" I said as I started to cry.

"Aw Bella, I'm sorry." he said as he reached out to hold me but I turned away. "It's not that I don't trust _you_, baby. Just talk to me, let me remind you how much you and I love each other and how we're meant to be together."

Just as my resolve was beginning to waiver he stood right behind me and whispered in my ear the one thing that always makes me weak in the knees.

"Bells honey, please…?"

And to make it even worse, just as I was about to say something my stomach growled loudly, which caused Jacob to laugh lightly.

"Oh, shut up. I know you're starving too." I whispered back.

I turned to look at the Cullens and Edward who were all on the porch.

"Ok, change of plans. Jacob and I are going to go get something to eat and I'll be back in an hour. Why don't you all go hunting and when I get back Edward, you and I will go for a walk."

"No, Bella. You can't leave. What if he doesn't let you come back? I can't loose you again when I just got you back."

"Don't worry; he'll let me come back because he doesn't have a choice. And besides Edward, _I'm_ not the one that leaves and doesn't come back."

I knew that was a low blow, but just like with Charlie when James was after me, I knew it was the only way to get him to let me leave.

"Ok, well I'm starving so we're gonna leave and I'll be back in an hour."

The Cullens all said variations of bye and we'll see you later then turned and when into the house leaving only Edward standing there.

As Jacob took my hand and led me to my truck I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward until I got into the driver's side and started my truck. Jake got in next to me. As I started driving down the driveway I looked into my rearview mirror and saw crumbling to the ground in pain on the porch.

It broke my heart.

* * *

**Thanks for the support on the last chapter. I'm glad you all liked Esme's rage and Rose's honesty. As all of you who reviewed found out when I replied I gave you a sneak peek of this chapter. If you review this one I might just be nice and do it again. **

**I'm sorry for having her not choose between the guys yet but I thought it was more realistic this way and it also gave each of the guys a chance to make their case and spend some alone time with Bella before she chooses.**

**Make me happy! **


	12. Oh Boy

**I'm sorry it took me so long but I got H1N1 aka Swine Flu. It sucked but I'm better for the most part now. I also got really stuck trying to get from one point to another and I'm not sure if I like it or not but I got through it and it's all thanks to my muse aka School. No joke every time I'm at school I get totally inspired within ten minutes.**

**Gotta thank my amazing BetaFish, SimplyKelp.**

**Here is a key to help a little. Other that the beginning review, if the sentence is **_**italicized**_** it's being said in one of the pack members minds while in wolf form. **

**Important note at the bottom!**

**Chapter 12: Oh Boy…**

* * *

_Previously on My Personal Sun…_

"_Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle I want you three to stand guard outside of the house and if either of them try to go inside, you have my permission to stop them anyway you see fit. And before you say it, No Emmett you may not rip Jacob to shreds because he won't heal like we do. No committing murder. Let's go girls."_

_And with that I walked ahead with the girls flanking me to the house. _

* * *

**Jacob POV**

I watched in disbelief as the Vampire Mom walk away with _my_ Bella, limp in her arms. How could this happen? I quickly yanked off my cutoffs and phased into my wolf form without even thinking. I fallowed behind them to their house. I had only been here once. It was about two weeks after I imprinted on Bella. She was starting to get over _him_ and I had started coming over in the middle of the night to hold her while we slept. It wasn't until later that I found out that jackass used to do the same thing, only he couldn't sleep. She said that while he made her feel safe and protected, she liked it better when I was the one next to her because she liked the rumble in my chest from me snoring as she snuggled up to me. She said the whole feeling was different. It was sleeping _with_ someone vs. sleeping _next to_ someone.

The night I came over here, I had been on patrol. I snuck into Bella's window like I always do, but I was sure if she would have just let me tell him, Charlie would let me come in through the door. So when I came in she seemed to be having a nightmare, which was odd because she never had those after I imprinted on her. She kept mumbling something about "the big white house." and it wasn't until she said the leaches name that I knew what she was talking about. I got in bed with her and pulled her flush against me. It took a little while of soothing her and kissing her forehead and cheeks but she finally calmed down. I made the decision while I was holding her that I had to find out what the big deal was and why it haunted her so.

I leapt back out of the window, shed my shorts, and phased. I took off in the direction of the leeches' house. As I was running I felt Seth and Embry in my head and both of them were worried about me.

_Dude, what are you doing? I really don't think that's such a good idea. _Embry said.

_Shut up Em. Obviously she still has issues and if by going there and seeing it I can help her even just a little bit it's worth it._

_I know Jake, but…_Seth started but stopped when I finally burst through the trees into a small clearing that held the leech's house.

_Whoa… _They both said in unison.

_Yeah… _I said coming to a stop. The "Big White House" was huge and in the light looked haunted. _Well it _is _a Vamp house._ The moon shown though the clouds and the house a glow from the light but it also made the windows and even darker pitch black.

_Well I can now see why it haunts Bella so much… My gosh. _I thought.

_Ok man, you've seen it. Now get out._ Seth said nervously.

_No, I have to get a little closer…_

I started to walk slowly closer to the glowing house like it was mesmerizing me and pulling me in.

_Ok Jake, that's close enough. Get the hell out of there now!_ Embry said trying to command me as I got to the porch steps.

_Just a little bit closer… _I said as I started up the steps.

I just about reached the door when… _What the hell is that?!_

The whole area had a faint, but old vamp stench but this was stronger, more resent. Probably within the last month. At first I thought that maybe it was from Red but the smell wasn't the same. I recognized the scent but couldn't place it. It set me on immediate alert, it was too old to present an immediate threat but it made the place even worse. I ran back down the steps and to Bella's as fast as my legs could carry me. I could hear Seth and Embry talking to me but didn't listen to what they were saying. I was trying to remember where I had smelled that scent before.

I climbed into her window and snuggled up closely to Bella's sleeping form. It was until I was almost asleep that the memory hit me. I had smelled that on some of the things in Bella's closet. Mainly on the stuff in the bottom of her closet where she had that black trash bad that had the truck stereo… that the Cullens had given to her on her birthday. That meant that one of them had been back and could come back again. The next day I started looking for a house on the res so they couldn't get to her._ Looks like I failed._

"She _came_ to me, not the other way around." Edward scoffed pulling me out of my memories.

_Please, don't flatter your self. She might have come for _them, _but not you. She's with me and the sooner you realize that, the better it will be for you _Leech.

"Sure, _Pup. _What ever you say."

I hated that he could read my mind but at that moment he wasn't the only one who could.

_Jacob, what the hell is going on?! Why are you with a bunch of Leeches and not attacking them?! Do you need back up? I'll be right there!_ Sam though frantically in my head.

_Dude, Sam, calm down. I'm here because of Bella and before you say it, no she's not in trouble. Or at least I don't think she is. The bloodsuckers I'm with are the Cullens. She came over and I guess they were here. I'm not sure what's going on, but here I'll show you everything._ I showed Sam waking up with out her, freaking out, our phone call, going for a run to relax, finding their scent and running towards it to find _my_ Bella is the loser's arms and then the fight that led us here.

_Wow. That's fucking crazy man. That Mom Vamp is kinda intimidating; I thought Bella always said she was so nice and sweet. Well, what are you gonna do? Do you want me to round up the guys and we can storm the place to get her back?_

_No Sam. That would be a really bad idea. I'm not afraid of these leeches, but I am of Bella. She would totally kill us. Actually I would like a couple of guys here, just incase something happens. Could you grab Em, and Quil, then head over here?_

_Yeah sure. I'll go grab them and be there in ten._

_Ok thanks Sam. Oh, but don't tell the other guys. I don't want them to know and I don't think Bella will either._

And then there was silence in my head. Finally I was able to think in peace. I lay down on the grass in front of the house. From where I lay the forest was behind me and I had all of the Cullens in my line of vision. As I sat staring at them I couldn't help but try and figure out what she saw in them. I mean they stink, they're living rocks, they freaking sparkle for fucks sake! That's fucking creepy!

_Dude, that _is _creepy! What the hell is going on?!_ I felt Seth in my head. Oh fuck. Since Charlie and Sue got married Seth had really taken on the role of Bella's brother and had become really protective of her, even from me. If I so much as upset her in the slightest he was right there ready to _try_ and kick my ass.

_Wait, Bella's in trouble. Fuck I'll be right there! _I saw in his mind that he was in the forest in La Push on his way here.

_Seth, cool down. Sam, Em, and Quil are gonna be here soon. You stay there._

_No way in hell Jake. My sisters in trouble and there is no way I'm gonna take the chance of her getting hurt._

_And you think I'm gonna let her get hurt?! Seth, turn around and go home._

_Not a chance Jake. You may be the Alpha, but she's my sister and that's more important._

_Fine, but when you get here I want you to stay back and shut up._

I rolled my eyes at the kid and paid attention to the house again.

* * *

**Edward POV**

It had all happened so fast, even for a vampire. I didn't know if I would ever get to see the love of my existence again, let alone hold her in my arms and kiss her. Then the stupid mutt had to come and ruin it. How could this have happened? She was mine, not his. I had heard bits and pieces about what imprinting was, but it made no difference to me. She was _my_ soul mate, even if I didn't have a soul anymore. Bella believed I did and that's what mattered. She was made for me and me for her, not this _dog_.

If my dead heart could beat, it would have leapt out of my chest at the sight of her this morning. She was always beautiful but the slight changes of time only proved to intensify it. The feel of her in my arms again, I knew I could never live with out it. I could never let her go. She was my world and I was a fool to think I could live, or what ever it was that we do, without her.

So there I was, pacing in my own driveway while the love of my existence was within reach and I couldn't even see her. I thought back to everything that had happened this morning, everything she said to my family and me when Alice caught my attention.

"_Edward!" _Alice yelled at me through her thoughts. _"I know Esme said you can't pry into her mind but it's not prying if I let you see into mine. But if you get caught I'll deny everything. She's about to wake up._

I watched as she woke up and talked to my sisters and mother. They talked about what happened and how much they love each other. I knew my family loved her but it made me feel good to see how much she loved them as well. I decided to tune them out when Rose started talking about lingerie and the _dog_, although I did happen to catch that they hadn't been together, in that way, and that made me feel better. My thoughts were interrupted by the dog yelling at me through his thoughts. He was remembering the first time he saw my house, and I'll admit in his memories the house did look creepy. He got to the porch and smelled a fresh vampire scent and immediately recognized it.

"Alice?" I muttered under my breath. Why would there be a fresh trace of Alice in his memories? The last time any of us were here it was together the day we left years ago. I'll have to ask her about it later.

After he left our house he went to hers. He went in _my_ Bella's window and climbed into bed with her like I used to. He was thinking how he was going to try to keep her way from us but somehow we got to her anyways.

"She _came_ to me, not the other way around." I told him.

_Please, don't flatter your self. She might have come for _them, _but not you. She's with me and the sooner you realize that, the better it will be for you _Leech.

"Sure, _Pup. _What ever you say." He can delude himself all he wants, but now that I'm back she'll come back to me once she realizes she doesn't have to lower herself so low and be with him.

* * *

**JPOV**

It didn't take Seth long to get here. If it was possible, he was even more uncomfortable than I was. He was so antsy when he got here that I finally had to tell him to lay down like I was, because unless they started something all we could do was wait for Bella. The rest of the guys showed up about fifteen minutes after Seth.

I kept hearing Edward chuckle at what I'm assuming was our thoughts and I just wanted to rip out his throat which just caused him to chuckle more. I tried to ignore him the best I could because I knew he was getting a kick out of my thoughts. The more I tried to ignore him the more I thought about the reason I was here. Bella.

_How could this have happened? What did I do, what happened to make her come here, to them? Did she know they were going to be here or did she just stumble upon them in her true Bella fashion? I don't know what she sees in them. I thought she was happy with me and our family._ I thought to myself.

_Aw Jake, she was._ Seth said interrupting my thoughts.

_WAS?!_

_IS! IS! She IS happy with us._

_Thanks a lot Seth! You've made me feel even worse about this whole thing!_

But before Seth could respond the Loser Boy burst out laughing.

It was the final straw for me. I jumped up growling fallowed by my brothers.

_What Leech?! You think some things funny!?_

I noticed his "brothers" were already at the bottom step ready to attack if need be but he waived them off.

"Yeah Dog, you and all of your whining and moping is what's got my laughing. Let me save you sometime. She's going to leave you. Get used to it."

_No she's not. She loves me. We're getting married. _I couldn't help but think of her face when I asked her to marry me, then the feel of her lips on mine after she said yes which caused him to flinch. _What? You don't like that do you? Seeing how happy I make her, and how much she loves me?_

He didn't answer so to test my new found theory I thought about all the times she kissed me or snuggled up to me. The guys saw what I was doing and started thinking of us together. He not only flinched but he even looked like he was in pain. He face was all screwed up like someone was physically torturing him. _This is going to be so much fun!_ To really drive it home, I thought of her trying to seduce me last night.

"STOP! Fine I get it. She loves you, but it is nothing compared to the way she feels about me. I was her first love."

_I was made for her!_

"That doesn't mean she was made for you. She loves me, and she wants to be _with me_!"

_That's not how it seemed earlier._ I thought snidely to him.

"Yes well it may take some time for me to gain her trust back but she'll forgive me soon and we'll be back to the way we were."

_Yeah I wouldn't be so sure about that. First of all even if for some god-awful reason she did go back to you it would never go back tot the way it was before. She's changed and it's all your fault. Well, not all of it. A lot of it is because of me loving and supporting and _helping her _after _you left_. In fact I think that because you enjoy reading our minds so much we should show you _exactly_ what your leaving did to her. Sam why don't you show Loser Boy here the night you found her in the forest after he left her._

_With Pleasure._ Sam thought with a sneer and with that our minds were filled with the images of Bella lying on the forest floor. Then him lifting her up while she kept chanting "He's gone." over and over again. Him walking her to her father and the look on Charlie's face as he took her from him and the terribly painful way her voice sounded when she recognized her father. Then we watched as Charlie struggled to carry her back to their house where he placed her on the couch. we listened to the sad and meek way she answered the doctor and the way she looked like she could crumble to pieces any second because of the pain that was clearly written all over her face. It was painful for me to watch and I had seen it plenty of times, I can't imagine how it would feel to have to watch it and know that I was the cause of all of her pain.

Sometime in the middle of the recount Loser Boy had doubled over from the pain of seeing it, of seeing what he caused. As soon as it was done he shot back up and looked right at me.

"You have no idea how much it hurts."

_And that was only one small piece of it. I think that you deserve to see all of the pain you caused her, the woman you supposedly love._ And with that I started showing him how she turned into a zombie after that day. How the doctors thought she was comatose. How she slowly turned from this bright beautiful girl into this sad gauntly looking person. It was as if all of the life had been sucked out of her. I showed him the day she brought the bikes over. I showed him how even when she laughed or smiled it looked hallow. Then Embry and Quil jumped in with the first time they met her in my garage. Through my eyes she looked better because I loved her but through their's you could really see just how bad she looked. I showed him how she looked as time went on, how even though she started to look better on the outside the inside wasn't improving. I showed him how she used to wrap her arms around her chest and fight to breath because she said it was like a whole was being ripped open in her chest and if she didn't hold everything together it would all fall apart. I showed him the motorcycles, when she crashed and how she looked into my eyes and told me I was beautiful.

I showed him when she actually did start getting better as a whole. How when she laughed or smiled it actually reached her eyes and you could tell she was actually happy. I showed him Valentines Day and then the movie date with Puke Bucket Boy. How she held my hand and let me put my arm around her and told her I he hurt her but would never leave or hurt her like him. I showed him the car ride back to her house after dropping off the boy. How I promised to always be there for her. I left out the part where I couldn't tell her about my secret and how it hurt her but jumped to the day in the meadow with the slimy vamp that was trying to kill her and how we saved her. Then the night in her room when I reminded her about the story I told her on the beach the day we met and then the next day on the same beach when she told me she knew my secret. Then how we spent all most all of our time together from then on. I showed him us walking on the beach, hand in hand and how she used to look down at our joined hand then up at me and smile. I showed him how she was so afraid because of Red, which was his fault, but how I would sooth her and tell her I would never let anyone hurt her.

Then I showed him the most painful memory I had that brought him to his knees. I showed him the day Bella tried to kill herself because of him when she jumped off the cliff. I showed him how she gave up and I pulled her out of the water. I showed him how she looked dead and how I was afraid she was. Then the relief if felt when she finally opened her eyes and called out to me.

"Please, stop! I can't take anymore." he pleaded.

_Well as much as I love seeing you in pain, especially when that pain is coming from showing you what you did, I think your right. You can't take anymore of her pain right now. How about I show you something else instead._

I thought back to the day she drowned but I thought a little father down the road to when I imprinted on her. I showed him how she decided to move on from him and how she pleaded with me to stay with her. How she gave herself to me and then kissed me. Then how she looked when I finally opened my eyes again and imprinted. How beautiful she looked in my eyes. I showed him how I took her back to my house and we lay in _my_ bed all day holding each other and sleeping. I continued on showing him all of the happy times we had together like her graduation and how beautiful she looked walking down the isle at Charlie's wedding. The day I asked her to move in with me and then the move in day itself. How much fun she had redecorating our house. All of the days we spent at my garage in town, with me showing her how to fix cars. How her face would light up when she got it.

I showed him yesterday when I proposed to her and how happy she was. Then I showed him the one thing I knew would hurt the most out of all of the happy and sexy times we shared. I showed him her holding the baby last night. How amazingly beautiful and perfect she looked holding Levi. Then to really drive the stake home I showed him our conversation about having kids and then her trying to seduce me again.

Needless to say he broke down and I'm sure, if her could, he would have been crying. My work was done so I went and laid down on the grass again with my brothers.

* * *

**EPOV**

I don't know what was worse; him showing me her in pain over me or her happy because of him. I knew that leaving Bella would hurt her, but never would I have imagined it would have been as bad as it was. How could she try and kill herself?! Bella had done some reckless stupid things, but this was by far the worst. One day I would have to thank him for saving her life. It was hard seeing her happy because of him. I know I told her to move on but seeing it was horrible. And to move on with a young werewolf! What was she thinking? Didn't she know how dangerous he was and still is?! We were going to have to have a serious talk about that later. Thankfully the dogs had stopped assaulting my mind with memories of her but the problem was that being a vampire meant I would never forget and now I couldn't stop running them over and over again in my mind. Just as I was about to boil over from emotions, Bella ran outside.

* * *

**JPOV**

There I was lying in the grass with my brothers, minding my own business enjoying the pain that I just caused that smug bastard, when the love of my life ran out the front door. She looked right at me with fire in her eyes.

"Jacob Ephraim Black! What the hell where you thinking?! Calling in backup! If it's not bad enough calling in Sam, Embry and Quil, but you called in my little brother!? Oh Seth, don't think that just because you're trying to hide that I can't see you! You get your furry little butt in that tree and shift back right now because we are so going to have a talk, mister!"

There was a collective _Oh Shit_ from all of us.

_Jake man, what do I do? She may be small but she's scary when she's mad. You gotta help me out._

_Seth, the best thing to do is just do what she says. Don't piss her off any more than we already have._

_Ok fine._ Seth said as he moped down the lawn with his head hung. When I turned back I saw Bella walk down and stop in front of me with her hands on her hips. _Uh-oh._

"Jacob I know that you are worried about me but you are safe and so am I and there was no reason to call in for back up. And calling in Seth! Oh, we are so going to have a chat about this later." I whimpered and nuzzled my mussel into her side hoping to look cute and soften her up. "Oh no! None of that! If you want to talk to me you can shift back and we can talk face to face or I will just have Edward," she said pointing behind her in Jerkwards general direction, "read your thoughts and tell me them for you which I know your not going to like."

I whimpered a little more hoping it would help but she didn't soften her features at all.

_Dude, just do what you told Seth and do what ever it is she says._ Embry said, trying to help.

So I did what Seth did and lowered my head and walked into the forest to phase back. I hated being in my human form around these bloodsuckers but if that's what it takes to make Bella happy again, I'll do it. On my way down I passed Seth and he looked scared. Just before I phased I watched Bella use her Mamma/Alpha voice and then slap him in the back of the head. _OOOOO, not nice._

I phased back, pulled on my shorts and walked back to where my brothers were sitting. I looked up and saw Seth with her in front of the leeches. _What is she doing?! She's introducing them! What, like they're gonna become friends or something?! _I swear sometimes, she just didn't get it.

"Cullens, remember I told you Charlie got remarried. Well this is his stepson, Seth Clearwater, which makes him my little brother. He has an older sister, Leah. She's a wolf too but she can't shift right now because she's pregnant. I hope you guys get to meet her too. Rose, I think you'll really like her. You guys are practically personality twins." she started laughing but when she realized no one else thought it was funny she added "Well once you all meet her, you'll think the same thing."

_Oh hell no! They are not meeting Leah, or anyone else for that matter. _

Seeing that Seth was very uncomfortable, she turned them around and walked back to us.

"Ok Seth, get your furry butt back to my house and I might not tell your mother." he didn't need anymore more threats from he; he ran towards the woods and was gone._ Hell, I'd be gone too if I was him._ She turned and walked towards Sam, and being the idiot I am I sigh in relief. With out looking at me she said while pointing her index finger up and said. "Oh don't think I'm done with you yet Jacob Black. We are going to have a talk after I send these three home." We all groaned in unison.

"Sam I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure Emily is not going to like it when I tell her that you're at a vampire house waiting for a fight while she's at home alone taking care of your days old newborn son." she looked him dead in the eyes and he whimpered. "Oh, I would totally tell her. In fact, if you're not gone in five seconds, I'll call her right now. Care to try and call my bluff?"

He hesitated for a second, until she started to count back from five. He looked at me and I just nodded my head that it was ok. I don't know whose worse, Emily or Bella. She turned to the two remaining with the same stern pointed look and her hands on her hips. They both looked at me and I nodded slightly, telling them it was ok to leave. She gave a small snort and turned to face me.

"Jacob, how could you do this to me? Most of them have _finally _stopped calling me Vampire Girl and they've never seen me with the Cullens. What am I supposed to do?! I can't face them now! I am _not _ashamed of my relationship with the Cullens but do you know how long it took the pack and our friends to like and accept me?! Don't even try to tell me that it won't get out because I know that one of the _five_ of you is going to slip and think of this while in wolf form and everyone will know. And trust me, they will all talk."

I felt bad because she had a really good point.

"Oh, Bella I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking about that. I was just worried-" I said but she cut me off.

"About _what _Jacob? I know that they're vampires but they're different. They would never hurt me or you or anyone else! How many times have I told you this already?! Why won't you just believe and trust me?" Then she started to cry which made me feel even worse.

"Aw Bella, I'm sorry." I said as I reached out to hold her but she turned away. "It's not that I don't trust _you_, baby. Just talk to me, let me remind you how much you and I love each other and how we're meant to be together."

I could tell that she was starting to soften so I did the one thing that always gets her. I stood right behind her and whispered in her ear even though I knew everyone could hear me.

"Bells honey, please…?"

Just as she opened her mouth her stomach gave a monstrous growl which caused me to chuckle lightly.

"Oh, shut up. I know you're starving too." She whispered back. She turned and looked up at the bloodsuckers who were all on the porch.

"Ok, change of plans. Jacob and I are going to go get something to eat and I'll be back in an hour. Why don't you all go hunting and when I get back Edward, you and I will go for a walk."

"An hour… or so." I added too low for her to hear. Then I showed Jerkward what I planed to do with her once we got home. He growled low in his chest so Bella wouldn't hear.

"No, Bella. You can't leave. What if he doesn't let you come back? I can't loose you again when I just got you back." Looser Boy said. _Oh please, like she'll _want_ to come back after we do what I have planned for us tonight._

"Don't worry; he'll let me come back because he doesn't have a choice. And besides Edward, _I'm_ not the one that leaves and doesn't come back."

_Oh ouch, that's gotta hurt leech! What can I say, that's my baby! Fierce and fiery._

"Ok, well I'm starving so we're gonna leave and I'll be back in an hour."

All of the bloodsuckers told her goodbye as I took her hand and led her to the truck. I let her drive because I knew she would want to and got in the passenger seat. As she started down the drive way back to our house I could stop planning how I was going to show her that we were meant to be together. Tonight was going to be hot!

* * *

**Ok so there you have it. I'm sorry this took so long but I'm hoping that because it's so long and juicy that you'll forgive me.**

**So I've decided to split this story into two different endings. This one is going to continue where she chooses Jacob but I'm going to start another one where it's Edward that she chooses. It's going to split off when she tells them who she chose. **

**Please tell me what you think and I'll give you a preview to the next chapter, which is some Jacob lovin' time.**


	13. AN I suck at life

A/N

I'm sorry for getting your hopes up. I always said I would never do one of these but I value you guys so much that I thought you needed to know.

As of right now My Personal Sun is on hold.

I know I suck! I'm really sorry and I promise on my life that I will finish it. I just have a lot going on right now and have no time to even be creative let alone write.

I feel terrible because I feel like I'm letting you all down. To be honest I can't even barely look at my computer without being completely frustrated and stressed. I haven't even been reading most of my new chapter alerts.

I just…can't.

Again I'm so very sorry and if you hate me and leave me flames I will totally understand, but like I said, I _will_ be back and this _will_ get finished.

Sorry,

FreaKiki


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